Signs You May Be Manipulating Someone Attempting to control someone else's feelings — making them feel bad. Lying or misleading people. Withholding communication & affection. Blaming others for your actions.
Emotional manipulation occurs when a manipulative person seeks power over someone else and employs dishonest or exploitive strategies to gain it. Unlike people in healthy relationships, which demonstrate reciprocity and cooperation, an emotional manipulator looks to use, control, or even victimize someone else.
According to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, everyone can be manipulative from time to time, sometimes without even realizing it. "We are all human, and all of us manipulate because it's a human defense mechanism," he says.
Examples of Manipulative Behavior
Sometimes, people may manipulate others unconsciously, without being fully aware of what they're doing, while others may actively work on strengthening their manipulation tactics.
Stop yourself as soon as you notice manipulative behavior.
Then, talk to the other person about the situation and how you feel. Be as direct and honest with them as possible. It's okay to take some time on your own to work through your feelings. It's hard to change your behavior, so allow yourself to take baby steps.
While we are all susceptible to manipulation, if you are insecure, overly nice, or worry a lot about what other people think, you may be an easy target. The reason manipulation feels bad is because it feels like you're being pushed or tricked into something you didn't really choose or want to do.
Not all manipulation has malicious intent, even when it causes immense harm. Some common reasons people engage in manipulation include: Poor communication skills. Some people may be uncomfortable with direct communication.
"If you have voiced a concern but still feel frustrated, anxious, and pacified, you [may] have been emotionally manipulated," says Porche. "If you feel one way and someone is trying to convince you to feel another way, you are [likely] being emotionally manipulated.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Expressing your emotions isn't emotional manipulation. You're allowed to cry, stomp your feet, or indicate how you're feeling at a given moment. Crying to express vulnerability, for example, doesn't mean you're necessarily trying to sway someone to your cause or gain their support.
People who have a submissive or dependent personality. The more emotionally dependent a person is, the more vulnerable they are to being exploited and manipulated.
Histrionic Personality
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotional display and attention-seeking. Individuals with this personality are excessively dramatic and are often viewed by the public as the “Queen of drama” type of individual. They are often sexually seductive and highly manipulative in relationships.
ENFJ. ENFJs take the crown for the most manipulative personality type. ENFJs have high emotional intelligence and strong intuition. These combined make them very good at reading people and understanding their needs.
Manipulators can certainly change, and we can help facilitate that change to make both our lives and the world a better place.
Why do manipulators manipulate? Chronic manipulation is often used as a survival mechanism to cope with a challenging or competitive environment, especially when one lacks relative power and control. Pathological manipulation may also be the result of family, social, societal, or professional conditioning.
Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
Facial manipulators are expressions in which one part of the face "manipulates" another part, such as lip biting, lip sucking, lip wiping, and cheek puffing. Manipulator gestures are also commonly found within other parts of the body.
Manipulative movements such as throwing, catching, kicking, trapping, striking, volleying, bouncing, and ball rolling are considered to be fundamental manipulative skills.
Factor analyses of four instruments revealed six types of tactics: charm, silent treatment, coercion, reason, regression, and debasement. Tactics of manipulation showed strong individual difference consistency across contexts.