Crushes are a very normal, healthy part of human experience. The next time you fall for someone and think, "I can't get them out of my head!" you have brain chemistry to thank for that!
Dopamine rushes provide general motivation— not just romantic eagerness, so the presence of a crush can help us perform better at work, feel more creatively productive, or even be more active. And what's more, that norepinephrine will often help us feel more awake, alert, and attuned to the world around us.
Left as daydreams, crushes are usually harmless. Research shows that people with crushes often feel like they are in a real relationship, which could be a way to decrease loneliness, and may even boost our confidence.
According to Glatter, because having a crush on someone triggers the release of dopamine and serotonin — aka the feel-good neurotransmitters that produce a feeling of happiness and fulfillment, he explains — the beginning stages of love can make you feel good mentally, and may even act as a form of self-motivation.
That first spark of attraction ignites a region buried deep inside the brain called the ventral tegmental area, or VTA. Recognizing a potential reward in the making, the VTA begins producing a chemical called dopamine, often called the “feel-good” neurotransmitter.
There are five components to attraction and developing a crush: physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and familiarity. We are often drawn to people who are similar to us as well as people who remind us of loved ones whether that be parents, past partners, or friends.
What is the difference between Crush and Love? Crush is a transient feeling of intense attraction towards a person of the opposite sex. Love is a deep and emotional feeling of attraction that is unending. Love is not necessarily between a man and a woman whereas crush takes place between opposite sexes only.
It is a powerful mixture of idealization and infatuation. The brain chemicals associated with crushes can wreak havoc (or pure bliss, depending on your point of view) on a person for up to two years. If a powerful crush lasts longer than two years, it may actually be what psychologists call limerence.
If a boy really has a crush on you, then he'll be likely to give you all of his attention. He'll turn his body toward you, make eye contact, and won't look around for his other friends or text them during your conversation (unless he uses his phone as a crutch because he's nervous).
Crushes are About Projection
One way to look at crushes from a psychological perspective is that they are all about projection. When you crush on someone, you imagine the best things you wish about them. This is why you need not know the person very well to crush on them.
There is a very fine line between attraction and obsession. And when your obsession forces you to divert all your energies on them, that's when it starts to become unhealthy. You'll think about them all the time and this will restrict you from doing regular activities because they become your world!
“We know that we get a big hit of dopamine (our pleasure and reward hormone) and also a big hit cortisol (our stress hormone),” she explains. “So we're kind of wired to act on our attractions. We want to engage with this person, whether that's to reproduce or find a mate or just be connected...
You could be suffering from Limerence — a cognitive state of obsession and infatuation. You may be fixated with having your feelings reciprocated. You refuse to give up because you know it's meant to be. Very common in the world of Twin Flames.
Tennov suggests that limerence can last a few weeks to several decades, the average ranging from 18 months to three years. The length can depend on whether feelings are reciprocated, which can make limerence linger.
Once you realize that you and your crush have compatible personalities and attitudes, your brain will tell you to keep liking that person. Eventually, your attraction to your crush can grow into love, especially if you are always together.
In reality, according to psychologists, a typical crush usually lasts for FOUR MONTHS. If the feeling persists, what you feel is what we like to call, “being in love.”
He leans toward you during conversation.
People tend to naturally lean toward people they like in conversation, according to Battle. If the guy you like tends to lean his face in closer to yours while he's talking to you or listening to you talk, that's a good sign that he might be into you.
Shy Girls May Seem Mysterious And Intriguing
This may keep a man or individual interested in getting to know this shy individual better, and they may like the challenge of getting a shy girl to open up to him over time.
Researchers have scanned the brains of people who are madly in love and found a heavy surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain's reward system that helps people feel pleasure. Dopamine, along with other chemicals, gives us that energy, focus, and obsession we feel when we're wild about someone.
Generally speaking, you should want to be around the person you're in love with. "You want to be with them more and get to know them better," says Firstein. Crushes fade and you may get bored after spending time with the same person, but with love, you're never disinterested.
It's possible for guys to try to ignore his romantic or sexual feelings if he's shy, uncomfortable, unsure about them, can't handle his emotions, or he thinks things are moving too fast; however, it's more common for guys to try to pursue these feelings instead of avoiding them.