Participants were asked to rate their happiness before and after their divorce, and again the women were found to be much happier for up to five years following the end of their marriages.
A study by Kingston University in the UK found that despite the negative financial impact of divorce on women, they are generally happier than men after divorce.
While some may be happier after a divorce, research indicates most adults that divorce have lower levels of happiness and more psychological distress compared to married individuals. Divorce can bring up new conflicts between couples that cause more tension than when they were married.
Yes, there are children who experience some negative consequences when their parents split up. They feel unhappy, they do worse in school and so on. But there are also children who are happier, healthier and even safer after a divorce. It often comes down to what their home life is like before and after the divorce.
Toddlers and Infants Have Memories
Oftentimes, people say the best age for a child to go through a divorce is when they are young. Kids who are three or under don't have much cognitive function yet and won't have fond memories of parents that are together.
Many people consider the separation phase to be the most difficult. This is the time between when you decide to get divorced and the date you actually get divorced. This period often presents the most uncertainties about child support, visitation, alimony, division of assets, and more.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
Studies also have shown that children do better when their parents get divorced, in comparison to their parents living together in a continuous state of conflict, instability, argumentation, hatred, and uncertainty.
A Healthier Household
That's why one of the most prominent positive outcomes of divorce is it creates a healthier household environment for everybody involved. It also shows children that divorce does not necessarily need to be a negative event.
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions associated with divorce. And people feel it for all sorts of reasons. Some people feel shame for “failing” at their marriages or putting on a brave face for too long. Others feel shame for being unfaithful, or for having a partner that was unfaithful to them.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
One study showed that as many as 50% of people regretted getting divorced. But apparently it depends on who you ask. In another study, 68% of those who divorced had no regrets.
Regret is actually part of the bargaining stage, where you negotiate how you will be different in order to save the relationship. Nonetheless, grieving itself does not mean that the person regrets their decision, it just means that they are going through the process of letting go.
There are five common emotions people experience during the divorce process. They are often referred to as the five stages of grief. They include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Naturally, these expand to more nuanced emotions that vary based on your circumstances.
Life after divorce is filled with overwhelming emotions. Many women feel a combination of anger, fear, resentment and confusion. They may even feel shame or guilt, even when they don't deserve to. When I went through my divorce, I felt many of these same emotions.
Research has found that when parents are in an unhappy marriage, the conflict compromises the social and emotional well-being of children by threatening their sense of security in the family. This in turn predicts the onset of problems during adolescence, including depression and anxiety.
If You Choose to Stay in Your Unhappy Marriage with Kids
There's even some evidence that doing so yields more happiness than divorce in the long term. Choosing to stay can be out of desire to keep the family intact and prevent emotional damage to children. Or it can be a financial decision to remain in the marriage.
While a divorce will be difficult for the children, the changes that children experience aren't all negative. For example, children who are no longer exposed to constant arguing, verbal or physical abuse, or unstable communication between their parents will be relieved and greatly benefited in their future.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women
Women tend to have a higher frequency of identity problems during and after a divorce. Many women are focused on being superb mothers and wives during the marriage then face the sudden loss of the second self-identity.
It helps you both grow individually. If you wonder why divorce is good, know that a bad marriage can stop the growth for both of you. So, it's better to file for divorce and go separate ways. This will remove distraction in the long run and help you both bring the focus back to your life.
Loneliness after a divorce or break-up can be common and even expected. You were sharing a life with your spouse or partner, maybe raising kids, and likely making plans for a future together. Divorce and break-ups stir up strong emotions, many of which can lead to feelings of loneliness.
FAQ. What is the percentage of people who regret their divorce? According to a study by relationship expert and author Terry Gaspard, 50% of divorced individuals claimed to have regrets about their decision to end their marriage.