It's important to point out that many introverts are not narcissistic. The ones who are, however, may have a way of influencing others around them to feel off-balance and/or insecure.
Introverted narcissists turn their low self-esteem inwards, often judging themselves way too harshly. Introverted narcissists believe they will never be good enough for themselves or for others. So, to save themselves the humiliation of defeat or failure, they simply give up on trying.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Unlike the glorious fanfare typically observed in their narcissistic counterparts, covert narcissists are the quiet counterpart and often present themselves in markedly different ways to those around them.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.
Type C personalities tend to be quite controlling, both of themselves and others. They don't like things to get out of hand and may appear stoic because they don't really want themselves to display a lot of emotion. They're very outcome-driven and will be sticklers for following protocol.
Highly empathetic
Individuals who have a high level of empathy are extremely appealing to narcissists because narcissists crave acknowledgment and validation for their thoughts and feelings (clinically, being "mirrored").
However, not all narcissists are openly grandiose and outwardly intrusive. Researchers and authors have written about the introverted narcissist, variously identified as the covert narcissist, the hypersensitive narcissist, the closet narcissist, and the vulnerable narcissist (1)(2)(3)(4).
Some of the signs of an introverted narcissist include playing the victim, being unable to handle criticism, and downplaying one's skills or abilities in order to get praise from others.
The covert subtype is less obvious. A person with covert narcissism may come across as shy, withdrawn, or self-deprecating. However, they will still be self-absorbed and believe that they are better than other people.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.
Understanding the condition better can help you manage your expectations and give yourself permission to prioritize your needs. While most people with NPD are not aware that they are narcissists, it's important to remember that no abuse is acceptable or excusable.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
In addition to hoarding conversation time, narcissistic communicators also tend to control and direct conversation topics. They focus on what they want to talk about, the way they want to talk about it, with little or no consideration for alternate views.
Malignant narcissism is a psychological syndrome comprising an extreme mix of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and sadism.
The condition is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, including exposure to parental narcissism. Narcissistic individuals are often vain, have low self-esteem, and feel entitled. They may be unsympathetic and have little empathy for others' feelings.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
Use Self-Deprecating Tactics
Among many other things covert narcissists do, a hallmark of their eccentricity is using false humility or self-deprecating comments to garner people's attention and seek validation. They trivialize their skills and accomplishments, so people reassure them or shower them with praise.
1. Overt Narcissism. Also known as grandiose narcissism or agentic narcissism, this is what we typically think of when we talk about a narcissist. These people are usually extroverted, aggressive, and attention-seeking.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
Cerebral Narcissist Traits
They hyperfocus on intellectual topics and go to great lengths to ensure others view them as the “smartest” in the room. Some defining traits of NPD in general include: Lack of empathy. Sense of entitlement.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.