Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families. 6 In addition to increased behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce.
In many instances, divorce can have a positive impact on children. It frees them from the chronic stress that comes from living with parents in a volatile, disrespectful, or loveless relationship.
On average, children aged 6-10yrs old are least affected by divorces; however, children aged 1-2yrs old's seem to be the most affected. Every marriage goes through its good times and bad times; however, when children become involved in the equation, the stakes become even higher.
Children who have experienced their parents divorcing are often more adaptable and resilient as a result. Divorce brings about change and children develop coping strategies to deal with that change. This further sets them up with a solid foundation to build on in adult life.
Studies also have shown that children do better when their parents get divorced, in comparison to their parents living together in a continuous state of conflict, instability, argumentation, hatred, and uncertainty.
Research has found that when parents are in an unhappy marriage, the conflict compromises the social and emotional well-being of children by threatening their sense of security in the family. This in turn predicts the onset of problems during adolescence, including depression and anxiety.
Babies and teens may be able to weather a divorce, but elementary school children need special care when the family breaks down. The worst age for divorce for children is essentially any age before adulthood. However, sometimes relationships become so broken that, child or not, there's no choice but to call it quits.
Psychologists say the potential of an emotional trauma like divorce affects kids of every age, but it is more impactful when the child is between 3 to 15 years old. “Once a child goes through puberty there's more potential to accept and understand a parent's divorce,” says child psychologist Dr.
Parental divorce is a potentially traumatic event in a child's life. Trauma is anything that overwhelms the psyche and has a lasting negative impact on a person's health and well-being. Parental divorce can rupture a child's sense of safety and security in the family dynamic.
Children of this age tend to feel a sense of loss and grief without both parents around. They also feel uneasy and worried when separating from either parent. Preschoolers with divorced parents also commonly experience anger, withdrawal or depression because of their family's situation.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
Statistical data suggests that at least one-third of people regret their marriage dissolution. That number can rise to 80% for ex-spouses who chose the wrong reasons to get divorced and feel that it could have been prevented if both parties had put forth more effort.
Do not criticize, complain, threaten or speak negatively about your ex-spouse to your children. Do not pit children against their other parent or make them “choose” a parent. Do not put on a show and pretend like nothing is going to change.
And while media often shows men finding relief after “escaping the bear trap” of a bad marriage, and casts women in a desperate, “washed-up” light, research continues to show that women often report being happier after divorce.
A study by Kingston University in the UK found that despite the negative financial impact of divorce on women, they are generally happier than men after divorce.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
Feelings of loss, anger, confusion, anxiety, and many others, all may come from this transition. Divorce can leave children feeling overwhelmed and emotionally sensitive. Children need an outlet for their emotions – someone to talk to, someone who will listen, etc.
Trust issues
The trust within a relationship is a major factor for children of divorce in their own relationships. The research showed that adult children of divorce tended to have a less positive attitude toward marriage and a lower commitment to maintaining romantic ties, which causes a lack of trust to build.
It is vital that children are reassured that even after a divorce, their family remains a family. Often when discussing what this will mean for kids, we focus primarily on relationships with parents, siblings, and grandparents.
For some children, parental separation isn't the hardest part. Instead, the accompanying stressors are what make divorce the most difficult. Changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent who feels a little more frazzled are just a few of the additional stressors that make divorce difficult.
Research suggests that children from high-conflict divorces (HCD) may also experience post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSS), yet little is known about the association between parental conflicts in HCD families and child PTSS.
The court will decide which parent gets responsibility. If you have more than one child, the court will decide on responsibility for each child separately. A child of 12 or over can ask the court to grant responsibility to one of the parents. This parent will be liable for the child's maintenance until the child is 21.
As parents we will do anything for our kids and this may contribute to our desire to stay together in an unhappy, loveless marriage. However, despite our best intentions, psychologists note that the conflict and tension in the relationship, and subsequently the household, can do more damage to children than divorce.
Staying in a bad marriage, as seen, is far worse for your kids than getting a divorce. But before settling for a divorce, it is important to seek help from a marriage counselor. This way you'll be able to decide what's best for both of you and your children.
Only children, in particular, may have a more difficult time adjusting when their parents divorce, because they may experience more stress than a child that is sorting through the experience with siblings.