Sometimes, people may manipulate others unconsciously, without being fully aware of what they're doing, while others may actively work on strengthening their manipulation tactics. Some signs of manipulation include: Passive-aggressive behavior. Implicit threats.
Not everyone who manipulates is actually aware they do. They may think that's how relationships work or even believe you manipulate them too and they need to respond. In some instances, they may be aware of their actions but not of how they affect you.
It can usually be difficult for a person to know if they're being manipulated. Even some manipulators are sometimes not aware of their actions, so it can be really confusing to figure out when someone is a victim of manipulation. Manipulators often use fraudulent ways of gaining power over someone's emotions.
The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed. The manipulator may experience quiet but persistent moral crises and ethical conflicts, and may have a difficult time living with themselves.
Denial: Manipulators may deny that they have done anything wrong when they are confronted. Rationalization: They will attempt to justify or explain their behavior. Minimization: This is a subtle blend of denial and rationalization. Manipulators often play down others' concerns about their behavior or actions.
Typically, people do not know they are being manipulated because it is done in a way that conceals the manipulator's intention. It is using influence for a bad cause, to gain a personal advantage at the expense of someone else.
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
While most people engage in manipulation from time to time, a chronic pattern of manipulation can indicate an underlying mental health concern. Manipulation is particularly common with personality disorder diagnoses such as borderline personality (BPD) and narcissistic personality (NPD).
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood. Manipulation can happen in any relational context, Balestrieri says, including family, friends, professional, romantic, or sexual relationships.
Manipulators are driven by a need for power and control over every situation. In some cases, this can arise from past trauma, in an attempt to predict what is coming their way and make themselves feel safer in the moment.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. Manipulation is also correlated with higher levels of emotional intelligence, and is a chief component of the personality construct dubbed Machiavellianism.
The Destructive ESFJ
Destructive ESFJs are manipulative, controlling, and prone to gossip. They adopt the beliefs of the people around them and bully anyone who lies outside of that value system.
There is nothing worse than trying to live or get along with a manipulative person. Everything has to go their way or you suffer the consequences. The moment you put a stop to people taking advantage of you and disrespecting you is when they define you as difficult, selfish and crazy. Manipulators hate boundaries.
People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to create an imbalance of power. They take advantage of you to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges.
They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience. To them, life is merely a game of taking power and control and getting what they want. They see vulnerability as a weakness and staying invulnerable is a great way to hide who they really are.
In some cases, ignoring a manipulator may cause them to lose interest in their target. Since manipulators typically seek control and validation, a lack of response might make them feel insignificant and prompt them to move on to someone more susceptible to their tactics.
Guilt-Tripping
The first, and possibly the most frequent, tactic that manipulative people use is intentionally making you feel guilty, even over the most inconsequential things. Guilt-tripping can also be verbal or non-verbal, and often takes a passive-aggressive tone.