Folks with ADHD may tend to be impulsive or angry, but they're not always violent. ADHD doesn't directly lead to violence or aggression among those who live with this condition, but some people diagnosed with ADHD may be more violent due to symptoms like emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
What may seem to be “love bombing” is actually a manifestation of the ADHD partner's “hyperfixation.” Instead of being hyperfixated on a hobby, interest, etc., the ADHD partner will be hyperfixated on their new partner.
Additionally, low self-esteem arises as one of the emotional symptoms of ADHD. Low self-esteem can appear similar to insecurity and oftentimes they occur together. While insecurity often occurs with someone not know their role, low self-esteem might come across as someone not knowing themselves at all.
One study found that 96% of all spouses of adults with ADHD reported that their partner's symptoms make it harder for them to manage their household and raise kids. More than 90% said they had to do more to make up for their spouse's difficulties in these areas.
In an older study from 2006, researchers noted that adults with childhood ADHD had an increased risk of receiving certain personality disorders in later life. These include antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.
As we've discussed, unfortunately, many people with ADHD tend to have a lack of empathy. This can be addressed, though, through identifying and communicating about each other's feelings. If you see a disconnect between ADHD and empathy in your child or in your spouse, don't give up hope.
Some ADHD children may interact with peers in a bossy manner. In an attempt to gain control of their environments, they may try to control the actions of others. This bossiness typically creates angry and annoyed feelings in others.
Many people with ADHD have behaviors that get them in trouble. Some people might tell lies. Others may have angry outbursts. These actions or words can be hurtful to others.
People with untreated ADHD may have a tendency to speak before they think and often say things that are considered rude, either because of how they were said or their content. This is related to a lack of impulse control and can often be improved with medication or mindfulness training.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can send your most important relationship off the rails. Distraction, procrastination, and other ADHD symptoms can stir anger, frustration, and hurt feelings for both the person with ADHD and the partner.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
An ADHD brain ? processes thoughts differently.
So, when we're in the middle of a conflict, it can be hard to keep calm and think straight. We can feel extreme guilt, anger, sadness, or anxiety, and it can be hard to manage everything we're feeling.
Several studies find that as children with ADHD grow into adults, their self-esteem tends to drop over time because of mounting criticism and challenging life experiences. In severe cases, Chronis-Tuscano says, low self-esteem can make depression and suicide more likely.
Intense emotions and hyperfocus
Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do, and love is no exception. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the good — and bad — feelings that come with it can be even more intense and more disruptive. New relationships or crushes are exciting and (mostly) enjoyable.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
People with ADHD can struggle to regulate their emotions which means they may respond in an emotionally charged way. This can make texting difficult to navigate, particularly when you aren't able to read the other person's body language and hear their tone of voice.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
The key to dating someone with ADHD is to take the time to better-understand how the neurodivergent brain functions. You may need to work with your partner to re-imagine the roles and responsibilities within your relationship in order to decrease the likelihood of confusion, disappointment, and tension.”
These may include hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, conversational skills, spontaneity, and abundant energy. Many people view these benefits as “superpowers” because those with ADHD can hone them to their advantage. People with ADHD have a unique perspective that others may find interesting and valuable.