Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is highly associated with verbal abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, and/or domestic violence often suffered by those who are non-borderline.
In 30% up to 90% of cases BPD is associated with abuse and neglect in childhood and these percentages are significantly higher than those registered in other personality disorders (13–15).
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
But the degree to which trauma plays a role in BPD has been the subject of intense debate among psychiatrists and psychologists. Studies show that anywhere between 30 and 80 percent of people with BPD meet the criteria for a trauma-based disorder or report past trauma-related experiences.
You might also experience BPD without having any history of traumatic or stressful life events. Or you might have had other types of difficult experiences. If you already experience some of these difficulties, then experiencing stress or trauma as an adult could make things worse.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has long been believed to be a disorder that produces the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.
It can be easy to fall into a victim mentality with borderline personality disorder (BPD). You can often feel like your brain is working against you and making life unnecessarily hard. However, treating yourself as a victim can be detrimental and prevent you from recovering and moving on from traumatic events.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
While women may be more likely to deal with depression and BPD, men may suffer from the illness along with antisocial personality disorder.
While BPD symptoms can make things more complicated, many people with BPD go on to have very successful careers.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Unfortunately, because people with BPD have an insecure sense of self, fragments in the relationship feel extremely threatening. If their favorite person disappoints them, it can feel devastating. They may react with rage, threats, or complete withdrawal.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
Unexpectedly, people with BPD do not have higher divorce rates than the general population. By an average age of about 40, the divorce rate for people with BPD is around 35%, and this is comparable to the divorce rate for the average U.S. citizen. However, people with BPD are far less likely to remarry after a divorce.
BPD in particular is one of the lesser-known mental illnesses, but all the same it is one of the hardest to reckon with. (Some people dislike the term so much they prefer to refer to emotionally unstable personality disorder.)
Research indicates that BPD is linked to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) and exceptional artistic talent (Carver, 1997). Because your partner with BPD may be exceptionally bright, they digest information and discover answers to problems more quickly than the average person.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
How are personality disorders treated? Personality disorders are some of the most difficult disorders to treat in psychiatry. This is mainly because people with personality disorders don't think their behavior is problematic, so they don't often seek treatment.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation.
Fact: People with BPD are capable of giving and receiving love. People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love.
As a symptom
Some people with borderline personality disorder (sometimes referred to as BPD) can be markedly impulsive, seductive, and extremely sexual. Sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality are very common symptoms for both men and women with BPD.