Increased Intimacy, Romance, and Love The most obvious benefit of polyamory is the opportunity to develop deep, intimate, romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people. To not have our capacity for love to be stifled by a partner, and not to stifle a partner's capacity for love.
Pros of Polyamory
People who decide to have an open relationship with their partner also have the benefit of honesty in their favor. When polyamory is the deal, couples do not need to sneak around, lie, and practice deceit; it allows people to be open about their sexual needs with their partners.
With polyamory, it is more likely we will find relationships that fulfill us without needing to pressure our other partners to do things they don't enjoy. On the downside, this can also raise the bar for our original partners, which I will discuss below. Life is hard sometimes. You're home with the flu.
But there are serious challenges as well: Polyamorous relationships demand openness, consent, trust, communication skills, clear boundaries, and mutual respect. Feelings of jealousy may arise, especially when a new partner joins the relationship, and debates over how to raise children can also disrupt connections.
Interestingly, both poly and monogamous respondents in the study reported being equally as happy in their marriage.
But research has yet to establish any convincing link between polyamory and childhood trauma. Unless you're finding that consensual non-monogamy is exacerbating symptoms of a pre-existing psychological condition you have (for example, depression, anxiety, PTSD, a personality disorder, etc.)
'Twenty-percent of couples have experimented with consensual non monogamy [but] open marriage has a 92% failure rate. Eighty-percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy of the other. '
Maintaining high levels of emotional and sexual intimacy.
A survey of 340 polyamorous adults shows their polyam relationships lasting an average of eight years.
Complexity. Romantic relationships can be highly emotional, and that intensity can be multiplied by the number of people involved. Trying to juggle multiple partners' needs can be especially challenging when those needs conflict, and figuring out whose needs to prioritize can be painful for everyone.
Successful polyamorous relationships require open communcation and honesty about your wants and needs. This includes listening to your partner's wants and needs.
There are also cases where the poly partner decides it is right for them to engage in a monogamous relationship with this partner for a variety of valid reasons. There are all kinds of ways to negotiate Mono/Poly relationships. Each couple has to decide what is right for them.
Solo polyamory means that someone has multiple intimate relationships with people but has an independent or single lifestyle. They may not live with partners, share finances, or have a desire to reach traditional relationship milestones in which partners' lives become more intertwined.
A recent, systematic research and theoretical analysis discusses reasons why some people engage in polyamory. Motivations for polyamory include those related to autonomy, sexual diversity, identity, and belonging.
By definition, polyamorous people express their wants and needs when it comes to sex, which not only gives them a stronger sense of self, but also helps them maintain independence. Monogamous couples, on the other hand, often compromise their own needs for the perceived benefit of their relationship.
These include psychodynamic motivations, the satisfaction of needs not met in a monogamous romantic relationship, and the fulfillment of needs related to personal growth, identity development, expression of one's political views, belonging to a community, sexual diversity, and the exploration of minority identities ( ...
The challenges with polyamory
Creating and maintaining multiple non-monogamous relationships is demanding, it takes organisation and excellent communication and time management skills in order for it to work and can consume huge amounts energy in order for it to stay working.
While some studies show that 92% of open relationships end in divorce, another survey reported 70% of people in open marriages reported a better-than-average relationship.
Taken as a whole, research on polyamorous relationships indicates that most CNM persons report being their happiest and healthiest with around 3-5 partners. The Loving More Survey of 2012 found that, among those actively engaged in CNM, the average number of sexual partners was just over five during the previous year.
Individuals in polyamorous relationships are more likely to identify as bisexual or pansexual than heterosexual. A 2016 study showed that only half of all millennials want a completely monogamous relationship.
The usual suspects: Incompatibility and resentment
In polyamory, since there is more than one partner, there will always be a complication between contrasting personality types. Maybe the third person who enters the relationship doesn't get along with either of the two partners.
There are also some who may believe that non-monogamy is a cure-all for relationship problems, which is also definitely not the case. All relationships take work and all relationship styles have problems. Polyamorous relationships can absolutely work, but they do take lots of communication and self-reflection.
As if scheduling mayhem, worrying about your health (especially in times of Covid), and navigating societal prejudice isn't enough, many of us who engage in polyamory, at least occasionally, struggle with feelings of jealousy.
Rather, people in healthy polyamorous relationships may view jealousy as an indication of deeper personal problems, like feeling insecure or inadequate. When they feel jealous, they confront that emotion head on in order to keep their relationships honest and strong.
For example, fear of abandonment can become intense when your spouse goes out on dates with others; asking for what you need can trigger greater anxieties of rejection when your mate has other “options.” In this sense, polyamory forces you to deal with past traumas, whatever their type—and quite often, it compels ...