Regarding #1 (co-bedding), the conservative/mainstream school of thought in the western world is that it's best to separate the twins “early on” since they'll need their own sleeping space eventually. The attachment parenting contingent refutes this, saying twins can sleep together indefinitely and are happier for it.
Deciding how or when to put twins in separate bedrooms is an issue that most parents of twins face at some point. Every family is different, and every set of multiples shares a unique bond. So, there is no definitive timetable for making the transition.
You can put your twins to sleep in a single cot while they're small enough. This is called co-bedding and is perfectly safe. In fact, putting twins in the same cot can help them regulate their body temperatures and sleep cycles, and can soothe them and their twin.
Some experts argue that twins need separate cribs to avoid the risk of SIDS. There isn't enough evidence to suggest that co-bedding is danger-free. In the same crib, twins can potentially roll on their sides to face each other, which isn't safe — infants need to sleep on their backs.
Though if one twin consistently wakes his other twin, and they share a cot, separate cots may help. As your babies grow, there will be less room for them to be comfortable in the same cot, and their waking patterns may start to differ. You may want to move them into separate cots when they begin to roll over.
As far as social/emotional concerns go, “At age seven, twins from separated pairs had more internalizing and externalizing problems than non-separated twins, as rated by both mothers and teachers” (van Leeuwen et. al. 384). This same study found, however, no differences in academic achievement between the two groups.
Over time, this can really settle into a pattern, and take an academic, social and emotional toll on both twins. Separating them into different classrooms would give them some distance from this dynamic, offering them both the chance to learn to think and speak for themselves.
Separation anxiety deeply affects all twins. The parental role is to help twins manage emotional issues when they separate from one another. When separation anxiety between twin and twin, or between parent and twin, is not handled adequately there are serious side effects, including fear of being on their own.
Multiples are more likely to be born prematurely or have low birth weights, both of which can put them at an increased SIDS risk. Experts including the AAP recommend placing multiples in separate cribs from the start, which will ensure that neither baby gets overheated or becomes entangled with the other one somehow.
However, we would always recommend that boys and girls older than 10 do not share a room.
Give them Some Space. Once your twins are sleeping in separate cribs and the problem still persists, try moving the cribs as far apart as possible, for example, on opposite walls of the nursery. And again, put white noise machines near each baby's crib.
The AAP clearly states that each baby should sleep on his or her own sleep surface, and not in the bed with an adult. Before you're ready to put the babies in their own cribs in the nursery, use two portable cribs or a double bassinet for twins, such as the HALO® Bassinest® twin sleeper.
Blastocyst stage (days 4–8) division results in monochorionic-diamniotic twins. Division at the 8–12-day stage results in monochorionic-monoamniotic twins, and division after day 12 leads to conjoined twins [1, 2].
Identical twins that likely split between days 4-8 after conception: These twins have two different amniotic sacs, but they share one chorion and one placenta. This can pose risks if the placenta and blood vessels start favoring one twin over the other.
Some say that twins are always hard (yet amazing), while others say they truly didn't find them to be difficult. A few said that the first two months with twins are easy (being in the rose-colored glasses phase), then reality hits from months 3-6 (when the sleep deprivation catches up), then it can get easier again.
Some parents will paint a toenail for each twin, either using different colors or painting just one. You can also try putting an anklet or different bracelets on one or both babies. When they get older they'll probably try and trick you, but don't worry — you'll know who's who.
Very often twins see themselves in each other, which seriously complicates their separation from one another and contributes to anger, misunderstanding and loneliness between the pair.
As ridiculous as this sounds, twins often feel like they should be interchangeable. Sharing as adults is not possible and will only lead to unhappiness and anger. Adult twins will experience loneliness, which is inevitable and can lead to emotional confusion, depression, and being overwhelmed.
It's equally unsurprising that a Danish study found that twins are less likely to get married than non-twins. As twins have a partner from birth, the study suggests that they may not have the same desire for marriage as singletons.
Maureen Healy, an expert on sensitive children and author of Growing Happy Kids, tells Romper that twins have a bond that is oftentimes unexplainable and are closer than typical siblings — whether they're fraternal or identical. Healy says a lot of experts believe it's because this closeness is rooted in genetics.
With twins, division among siblings is inevitable. And if overlooked, this can come at the cost of your singleton feeling left out, especially if he has no other sibling to relate to. But with a mindful approach, you can be more aware of their sibling dynamics.
Raising one child is difficult enough and changes your life forever. But raising twins can be even more overwhelming. While having two babies brings unique challenges, it can also bring twice the amount of joy.
Prepare For Less Sleep, More Stress
While this is also true for parents expecting just one baby, “two is always more taxing than one,” says Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and author of UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.
With a twin pregnancy, your body makes high levels of pregnancy hormones. So morning sickness may come on earlier and stronger than if you were carrying a single baby. You may also have earlier and more intense symptoms from pregnancy, like swelling, heartburn, leg cramps, bladder discomfort, and sleep problems.