While relationships can be challenging when one or both partners have BPD, healthy bonds are still possible. Learning more about the condition and seeking professional support can be helpful steps.
It heavily depends on how they communicate and deal with their own issues. Both sides will face challenges as a result of their BPD, and the relationship will be challenging, but there is no reason why the two of them cannot stay or get together.
I've read quite a bit about BPD and I've discussed it with different therapists I've seen over the last few years. I'm aware that there are occasions when BPDs can attract each other, but it doesn't appear to be very common. It is documented that BPDs and Narcissists can have a magnetic attraction for each other.
Male Borderline Personality Disorder And Relationships
Although it usually manifests as a refusal to commit to romantic relationships for fear they'll lose their partner. The relationship patterning of men with BPD may see them have multiple relationships one after another in quick succession.
While relationships can be challenging when one or both partners have BPD, healthy bonds are still possible. Learning more about the condition and seeking professional support can be helpful steps.
Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.
Some people believe BPD is associated with infidelity. Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating.
Those with BPD can get too reliant on and obsessed with their FP to get out of the relationship but the emotions they experience, simultaneously, are too intense to stay secure and healthy in the relationship. Therefore, they often feel like having no control over the relationship.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground.
People with BPD may end a relationship for different reasons. For some, ending a toxic relationship may be a healthy step and a way to assert boundaries. For others with BPD, ending a relationship may be a response to the inner emotional turmoil that they experience because of their condition.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
The quick changing nature of BPD symptoms (e.g., emotional peaks and valleys) can lead to conflict-filled, chaotic relationships that may develop into toxic relationships.
A person with BPD can go from loving and adoring you (idealization) to being furious and “hating” you (devaluation) in a matter of hours. Even when they do “hate” you, they will still carry an overwhelming fear that you will abandon them.
It's a mental health condition, and it can be managed. Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely! They may just have a hard time expressing it or establishing some stability in their relationships.
“People with BPD lie often, but it is not because they are pathological liars,” says Nikki Instone, Ph. D. “Lying is not a symptom of the disorder so much as a consequence of their internal battle.” Lying is really rooted in emotional dysregulation, which is one of the main symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves.
For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. The relationship with a BPD favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Mirroring can be a form of Dissociation, where a person's strong feelings create “facts” which are less than true. A man switches accents to mimic a colleague. A woman wears identical clothing to her friend. A mother wears her daughter's clothing.