Experts say that kids commonly have their first crush when they're 5 or 6. "Younger children focus their love on their family," explains Cynthia Langtiw, Psy. D., assistant professor at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.
The experience of having a crush can begin as early as preschool, and crushes can continue to occur throughout one's life. Usually crushes are one-way, though sometimes they are reciprocated. In any form, crushes are common among prepubescent kids and satisfy important needs.
In fact, experts say, age 5 or 6 is the moment when romantic love first arrives. Boys and girls begin to notice each other. They develop loyalties.
First crushes may occur at any time, but generally start at around 10-13 years of age. They are an important step in developing normal and healthy romantic relationships, and provide opportunities to learn how to compromise and communicate.
“Kids even 4 years old can have crushes on each other,” says Radcliffe. “It's just a natural development. First you love your mother and then you can love other people, even when you're a real little kid,” she says.
Your son is a perfectly normal four year old. Kissing his little cousins is a time-honored tradition. You don't want to encourage it, but it also doesn't mean he'll grow up deviant! This is consistently the BEST parenting website out there.
Around the time they're able to attend elementary school, kids can experience their first crush. Some parents may feel blindsided by how early this can occur, but experts say it's perfectly normal.
Crushes often sprout from a child's attraction to authority, she said. Kids, like grown-ups, look up to people in authority, and a crush may develop "especially when that person possesses other attributes that the child thinks are important."
“Kids can fall in love by all developmental measures as soon as you can begin to measure their feelings,” says Carleton Kendrick, EdM, a Boston-based family therapist and author of Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We're Going to Grandma's. “There's no such thing as puppy love.” Crushes are a healthy part of life.
They are able to make decisions and enjoy taking on challenges. They have a better understanding of social rules and may experience new emotions such as shame, guilt, and pride. They are getting better at taking the emotions of others into consideration. For example, their empathy may lead them to console a friend.
Psychologically speaking, crushes occur when a person of any age projects their ideas and values onto another person whom they believe possesses certain attributes and with whom they want to be associated. Then, the person with the crush attaches strong positive feelings to this magical image that they have created.
Even at ages three and four, children feel jealousy because of their need for security. The good news is they're becoming more rational, as well as more capable of appreciating the needs of others. This means we can help them start to recognize the emotion of jealousy and handle it.
Your childhood crush is someone you remember for the rest of your life. The first time when you look at someone and then shyly look away is the beauty of the first love. It is also the time when you have no idea of what sex is, nor do you know anything about the intricacies of love.
Having a new crush can feel fantastic. You look forward to seeing them and feel energized, even euphoric, when you spend time together. Depending on the situation, there might even be a chance that the feelings are mutual. When your relationship with your crush doesn't go anywhere, you might feel, well,crushed.
If your child is not used to saying how he or she feels, help them describe and label their feelings. When they feel mad, and hear you say they feel mad, they will start to put this association together. After hearing these statements repeated, your child will more easily be able to say what they are feeling.
And of course babies aren't flirting at all; they are simply enjoying natural parts of their development. "Babies who appear to 'flirt' with you are building brain connections through social interactions,” says Dr. King. That's also the case when babies interact with other tots during playdates.
The answer? The big drop-off in cuteness appears to happen around age 4 1/2 -- between preschool and kindergarten. Men and women rated infants as more likeable and more attractive than toddlers, who, in turn are rated as more attractive than young children.
But the results showed there was no relationship between cuteness as a little one and attractiveness as a grown-up. A second study with 72 participants evaluating a different set of infant and adult photographs had similar findings.
Social etiquette expert Liz Brewer says she thinks that, while kissing a son or daughter on the lips is an "unusual practice," it should still be a parent's choice as to whether they consider it appropriate or not.
You might start by explaining that their feelings are normal. You could say something like, “It's okay for you to have these feelings and to want to be around your crush.” You might also say, “At your age, I'm okay with you sitting next to your crush, holding their hand, and talking on the phone.”
Your child's love is like a teenager's first crush. At around the age of 4, it is common for a child to fall in love with the parent of the opposite sex. This has to do with his strong love for his parents and is the beginning of his forming a positive relationship to the opposite gender.
It's important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.
Curiosity about genitalia is a perfectly normal part of early sexual development. When little kids touch their own genitals or show an interest in looking at other people's private parts, they are most likely doing what young children are born to do: learning about themselves and the world around them.