Yes, it is possible! You can't go back to the way it was, but you can use this opportunity to move forward to a new place. It is critical that you both acknowledge the damage that has been done by both the past infidelity and the worries about it happening again.
While there are many marriages that end up in divorce because of a long-term affair, there are also marriages that have survived multiple instances of infidelity. There are relationships that have been strengthened because of an affair.
While the numbers vary depending on the scope and type of survey, it appears that close to half, or 45% of individuals in monogamous relationships admit to having an affair. Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating.
Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy. To move on, this takes active work on both partners to work on the root cause of the infidelity.
Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Possible Signs a Divorce is Your Best Option
The partner who had the affair: Shows no signs of remorse. Desires to stay with outside affair person. Continually contacts outside affair person.
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.
Some serial cheaters experience guilt over their actions, but others show little or no remorse. Most of the time, it is difficult for them to change their cheating habits, but with the right steps and intentions, it is possible.
According to Marin, many people who cheat aren't looking for something they're missing in their relationship. Instead, the person cheating is dealing with issues about themselves. Per the AAMFT, it is common for the partner who cheats to experience low self-esteem, which can lead to feelings of shame and worthlessness.
People often wonder, “Do serial cheaters ever stop cheating?” The answer is that they often don't unless they recognize their behavior as problematic and make a legitimate effort to stop cheating by seeking professional help.
Someone with a long history of infidelity, across multiple relationships, is more likely to repeat that past behavior. On the other hand, someone who cheated once is less likely to cheat again, especially if it was long ago and a lot has happened since then.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
Serial cheaters don't think cheating is a big deal. They don't believe that people who cheat are doing something wrong. Sometimes, they even blame their partners for not giving them enough love which eventually led to infidelity. They blame destiny, situation, and their exes, but won't ever accept cheating on them.
The final stage of grief from a cheating spouse is acceptance. This will only happen once you fully acknowledge that your partner has betrayed you by having an affair. Acceptance can happen whether or not you have forgiven your spouse. In addition, you do not have to feel okay either.
Despite experiencing the different types of infidelity differently, men and women are about equally willing to forgive their partner. And the new findings show that the degree of forgiveness is not related to the type of infidelity.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
An affair means you have little respect for your partner — so little, in fact, that you're happy to be indiscreet with someone else without your partner's knowledge. If you have so little respect for another human being, why are you in a long-term relationship with them?
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.