Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
In refusing to acknowledge that they have made a mistake, narcissists fail to learn from those mistakes, a recent study from Oregon State University – Cascades found.
Narcissists will manage their shaky sense of self-esteem by denying any responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior. Some of the tactics they use to achieve this are denial, delusion, toxic amnesia, gaslighting, minimization, deflection, blaming the victim, playing the victim, and many more. Refuse to accept this.
When a narcissist's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable, he will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out contradict themselves and freely rewrite history (making things up as they go along). This is why at such times they don't seem like adults so much as 6-year-olds.
Guilt requires moral responsibility and regard for others.
The narcissist generally follows the rules because he does want acceptance, actually very high regard. That is the only reason he will try to correct a mistake, not because he feels he did wrong. That he won't readily, if ever, admit.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
The mental process of analyzing one's past actions and decisions to see what they should have done differently is called “should counterfactual thinking.” Simply put, narcissists aren't capable of this, which is why they don't learn from their mistakes.
Narcissists master the art of malingering. Fabricating an affliction or exaggerating a minor illness is used to seek attention, gain sympathy, or simply avoid responsibility (Bratskeir, 2019).
Can a person with narcissistic personality be vindictive? Yes. However, vindictiveness isn't an official symptom of the disorder, nor is it exclusive of people living with mental health conditions. Only a mental health professional can accurately diagnose narcissistic personality disorder.
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend not to perceive that they themselves may have a mental health problem, and thus may be less likely to seek evaluation or treatment.
Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
The narcissistic liar
This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.