Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that comes with a very big if. A toxic relationship can change if and only if both partners are equally committed to overcoming it with lots of open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help, individually and together.
The prime factor that helps decide whether a toxic relationship is worth saving is if both the partners are ready to alter their ways. If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is very little probability that the relationship will mend ways.
Toxic people can change, but it's highly unlikely. What is certain is that nothing anyone else does can change them. It is likely there will be broken people, broken hearts and broken relationships around them – but the carnage will always be explained away as someone else's fault.
An important caveat is, toxic relationships are directly linked to chronic emotional and mental stress which mainsprings the feeling of low self-worth, fear, anxiety, depression, paranoia, insecurity, helplessness and even narcissism,” explains Upassna B Singh, life coach and mentor.
Trying to break free from a toxic relationship, and then returning to it, feeds and fuels an unhealthy cycle of low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. These feelings can make us believe that we are undeserving of, unworthy of, or not good enough for a better love.
Try Not to Contact Your Old Partner to “Check In”
After enduring a toxic relationship (especially a long-term toxic relationship), it can be really tempting to want to reach out to your former partner. However, it's often best to give yourself some time alone and go completely no contact.
Leaving a toxic relationship can be very hard because of all the emotional labor and time spent trying to make the relationship work. It can feel like an internal failure, or that by leaving you are giving up on something you've invested in.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
People with toxic traits know they have them
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Toxic love may involve physical, mental, or emotional abuse, or it might involve manipulation, emotional blackmail, shame, control, or other potentially harmful behaviors. We'll explore toxic love in a variety of relationships, several feelings and signs of toxic love to keep in mind, and possible ways to cope.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, getting over the past can seem impossible. The good news is you don't have to do it alone. You can heal, learn to trust yourself again, and have the healthy relationship you desire. An expert trauma therapist can help.
Some might feel trapped financially or worry about their children. In abusive relationships, victims make an average of seven attempts to end the relationship before they do, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
If you're in a toxic relationship, the trauma can have immediate and lasting effects on your emotional well-being. In some cases, people in these types of relationships develop relationship post-traumatic stress disorder, or relationship PTSD.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
Chronic stress from toxic relationships can cause a long-term activation (3) of the brain's CTRA, contributing to chronic inflammation and increasing the risk of health problems like adrenal fatigue.
After all, when someone has been a toxic relationship partner, it's doubtful that he or she will be that great of a friend. Reality check: Toxic ex-partners may not miss you, but they sure do miss what you provided for them.
If you feel anxious, sad or angry more often than you feel happy and positive, it may be time to let your relationship go. You deserve (and likely will) find a relationship you're happy in, so don't waste your time and well-being in relationships that often make you feel bad.
Have a Strong Community. During your healing journey, it's important to surround yourself with people who genuinely love and support you. Whether it's close family members, friends, or even your therapist, having people to talk to and lean on during difficult moments will help you find peace after a toxic relationship.
Toxic people can change, but it's highly unlikely. What is certain is that nothing anyone else does can change them. It is likely there will be broken people, broken hearts and broken relationships around them – but the carnage will always be explained away as someone else's fault.