Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that comes with a very big if. A toxic relationship can change if and only if both partners are equally committed to overcoming it with lots of open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help, individually and together.
The prime factor that helps decide whether a toxic relationship is worth saving is if both the partners are ready to alter their ways. If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is very little probability that the relationship will mend ways.
Toxic people can change, but it's highly unlikely. What is certain is that nothing anyone else does can change them. It is likely there will be broken people, broken hearts and broken relationships around them – but the carnage will always be explained away as someone else's fault.
Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that comes with a very big if. A toxic relationship can change if and only if both partners are equally committed to overcoming it with lots of open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help, individually and together.
Let it be six weeks, six months – whatever feels right for you. In that time, give the relationship everything you've got. When that 'one day' comes, be honest and act from a place of strength, self-respect and self-love.
People with toxic traits know they have them
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
Toxic love may involve physical, mental, or emotional abuse, or it might involve manipulation, emotional blackmail, shame, control, or other potentially harmful behaviors. We'll explore toxic love in a variety of relationships, several feelings and signs of toxic love to keep in mind, and possible ways to cope.
A lot of people in abusive relationships stay in them because they love their partner and think that things will change. They might also believe their partner's behavior is due to tough times or feel as though they can change their partner if they are a better partner themselves.
Signs of a struggling relationship
You (or your partner) would rather do anything else but spend time with each other. You make each other feel unworthy or not good enough. You sacrifice being true to yourself for the sake of your partner and to avoid conflict. You don't like who you are when you're with your partner.
1. Are you committed to growth? The first way to know if your relationship is worth saving is that you are both committed to growth, individually and together. When couples reach out for support, they are often in a difficult time of heightened conflict, betrayal, or disconnect.
In true love, there is comfort in separate interests. We can have our own friends and meaningful relationships outside of our romantic relationships. We can pursue interests and ideas without fear of reprimand. On the other hand, in toxic love, there is total involvement in one another's lives.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
They make you doubt yourself
Toxic people have a way of making you feel guilty just for being you. One of the most common ways in which they do this is to poke holes in the way you are talking about something. Remember how they have an underlying tone when they ask you something?
After all, when someone has been a toxic relationship partner, it's doubtful that he or she will be that great of a friend. Reality check: Toxic ex-partners may not miss you, but they sure do miss what you provided for them.
Leaving a toxic relationship can be very hard because of all the emotional labor and time spent trying to make the relationship work. It can feel like an internal failure, or that by leaving you are giving up on something you've invested in.