If you're an empath in a relationship with a narcissist, it may be difficult to accept this reality, but it's important to protect yourself and your own well-being. Unless your partner is willing to change and get help, you're likely to continue to suffer.
The narcissist is able to keep the empath in a cycle of emotional or physical abuse and continue to demoralize the empath and use them as the scapegoat for their own dysfunctional feelings. Empaths tend to internalize feelings and accept blame.
As their bond grows, the empath will find it unbearable to see the narcissist in any kind of pain. They will want nothing more than to talk to them, help them, cheer them up… do whatever it takes so they can feel better again. They subconsciously want to “fix” the narcissist, or at least change their lives.
The more love and care the empath provides in the relationship, the more controlling and powerful the narcissist will become, intensifying the abusive dynamic. This leads to a vicious cycle of the demoralization of the empath by the narcissist, furthering the sense of victimhood the empath already feels.
Can a narcissist have a happy marriage? Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple's public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes.
The key is not for the Empath to run from the narcissist, but instead to allow themselves to fall. The Empath must first take the leap of faith, by breaking down the oppressive structures which they have been drawn into. This takes bravery, since doing so will induce great fear and panic.
One of the issues in a relationship between an empath and narcissist is that the empath may be resistant to the idea that their partner's behavior is primarily to blame for the relationship's unhealthy nature. They may also refuse to accept that they can't “fix” the other person. Narcissists can change.
Toxic empathy, also called hyper-empathy syndrome, is a type of empathy disorder where one struggles to regulate their emotions and empathizes with others so much it impacts their well-being. This contrasts empathy deficit disorder (EDD), where one lacks the ability to empathize with others.
Heyoka empath
Heyoka empaths are said to be the rarest and most powerful variety, acting as a spiritual mirror to those around them to assist their growth. The Heyoka's unorthodox approach to life makes others question their own preconceived notions of what's right and wrong, real and fantasy.
Although empaths feel shame and guilt, they will take the narcissist's power away at every opportunity. And that will destroy the narcissist.
What is empathy fatigue? At worst, empathy fatigue is a person's inability to care. It's the negative consequence of repeated exposure to stressful or traumatic events. It can manifest both emotionally or physically.
Watching violent news; being around sarcastic, critical, or narcissistic people; or spending days at an amusement park are not things empaths enjoy. To feel their best, empaths need to minimize or avoid situations like this unless they want to end up feeling exhausted, drained, used, or anxious.
But empathy can have a dark side. Some people, known as dark empaths, understand the feelings of others but don't feel these feelings themselves. They might act like they care, but deep down, they don't feel sympathy for you or have a desire to help. They use their understanding of your feelings to manipulate you.
Traits of an Empath
Because they can become easily overwhelmed by absorbing other people's energy, they may look for outlets through substances or behaviors. Binge eating, shopping sprees, and substance abuse are all behaviors that can lead to compulsive habits that eventually turn into addictions.
The narcissist sees the empath as loving, devoted, and agreeable. The narcissist is drawn to empaths because the latter are emotional sponges. An empath in love will listen to the narcissist with undivided attention and a desire to understand them.
The super-empath's ability to sense the narcissist's inner feelings is the worst fear for a narcissist. It means the super-empath can see through to the narcissist's true self, and that makes them dangerous because they can expose that to the world.
Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner. Jealousy.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
Empaths can protect themselves by having firm boundaries, managing their energy, and getting support. In cases where your loved one has Narcissistic Personality Disorder as opposed to just narcissistic traits, it might be necessary to leave the relationship for your own mental health.
Plenty of alone time (to center and recharge)
Peace is difficult to find when surrounded by other people, sounds, and various stimuli. So, empaths need regular alone time and mini-breaks throughout the day to refocus and recharge. It's not just about being alone — it's about self-preservation and self-care.
Empaths might experience burnout or emotional exhaustion; they can also be hurt through the actions of others with less empathy. Learning to say no, setting healthy boundaries, and practicing self-care can help empaths recover.