Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. 'It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,' says Fredrickson.
Many couples who have called it quits end up getting back together. In fact, a 2013 study found that over one third of couples who live together and one fifth of married couples have experienced a breakup and gotten back together.
There are many reasons why you might want to consider taking a break in your relationship. It can be a way to reset the relationship, gain clarity about your own needs, and even help foster a healthier relationship with your partner.
Also known as “relationship cycling,” the predictable, repetitive cycle of breaking up and getting back together again can be dysfunctional, unstable, hurtful and even toxic.
Three-Month Rule: After a Break-Up
Basically, after a break-up, the three-month rule is a rule that says you and your ex are both given 3 months before entering the dating scene again. Just waiting it out, and mourning that your relationship ended. Just go on with your individual separate lives and see what happens.
They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters.
Staying silent can also help you feel empowered. You're taking charge and showing your ex that you're capable of and willing to live life without them. Whether you're the one who was hurt or the one who ended it, cutting off communication after a breakup puts you in control.
That said, reconciliation after a legal separation is not especially common. According to U.S. statistics, 87 percent of couples who legally separate eventually get a divorce, while only 13 percent choose to come back together.
Set a reasonable time frame
Six months is a break up, not a break, the experts say. Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together.
According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup. To begin with, most people get back together with their ex because they still harbor some feelings for them.
Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive.
Statistical research shows that the average length of separation before reconciliation is six to eight months. Thus, it is a safe period when the spouses can cool off and decide whether they want to give their marriage another chance or get a divorce.
If both of you are willing to give it another chance, you can very well do it. Many couples have done it before, and so can you. However, you should be ready to put the past behind you and move on. Getting back together after separation is a decision that cannot be made hasty.
The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.
Going No Contact “can help you properly acknowledge a loss and mourn it, and eventually create space for something new,” Wade adds. Think of the No Contact Rule as a way to truly experience and transform your grief, rather than distract and soothe by reaching out for post-breakup dopamine hits from your ex.
Silence speaks volumes
The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
The death of a future you imagined for yourself with your ex, one that you probably imagined together, can be one of the most difficult things to come to terms with after a break-up. It makes your present that much harder to get through (see above). It's OK to mourn and grieve the loss of that future.
The stages of grief after a breakup can be divided into seven steps. These stages are Shock and the state of Denial, Pain and Angst, Guilt and Bargaining, Depression, Upward Turn, Reconstruction, and Acceptance.