An empath will understand they were being used There has been research conducted to determine if empathic feelings fade over time, and it indicates that this is possible. This could mean that an empath may become tired of dealing with the needs of a narcissist and must leave them to start a new chapter in their life.
Set Boundaries
Everyone leaving a destructive friendship or partnership should set firm boundaries. Narcissists will often try to push the limits, so empaths must learn to stand firm in their choice to leave. But it may be challenging for people pleasers to do so, as they're conditioned to meet people at their level.
Empaths are exceptional people, but they're often victims of narcissistic abuse. The sad thing is, even when they decide to leave the toxic relationship, they may feel guilt and shame. Worse, the narcissist might even lure them back.
Empaths can protect themselves by having firm boundaries, managing their energy, and getting support. In cases where your loved one has Narcissistic Personality Disorder as opposed to just narcissistic traits, it might be necessary to leave the relationship for your own mental health.
Overall, no matter how hard they might try, an empath can't make a narcissist change their behavior. But narcissistic behavior appears to be a learned set of traits; which means they're correctable.
Eventually, the empath begins to adopt the traits of the narcissist. Because their emotional needs are not being met (and they've been confusing their partner's emotional needs with their own) they start to seem “selfish,” or at least predominantly concerned with their own well-being.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
An empath will unknowingly feed the needs and desires of a narcissist by constantly giving their energy, emotions and time. And a narcissist will follow suit by taking and ultimately sucking the energy from an empath, like a leech. This viscous cycle becomes the foundation for an abusive and toxic relationship.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
"But unfortunately empaths are attracted to narcissists, because at first this is about a false self. Narcissists present a false self, where they can seem charming and intelligent, and even giving, until you don't do things their way, and then they get cold, withholding and punishing."
The narcissist is drawn to empaths because the latter are emotional sponges. An empath in love will listen to the narcissist with undivided attention and a desire to understand them. When the narcissist shows genuine appreciation for this openness, the empath feels rewarded and special.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
While the narcissist might respond with their characteristic rage, the super-empath is able to remain calm and simply ask the narcissist what's behind their behavior. That's the last thing the narcissist wants to discuss, and this tactic usually makes them back down.
Many people naively believe that they can cure the narcissist by engulfing him with love, acceptance, compassion and empathy. This is not so. The only time a transformative healing process occurs is when the narcissist experiences a severe narcissistic injury, a life crisis.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
Some narcissists may have healthy, loving relationships with their mothers, but many will struggle due to their narcissistic character traits. The narcissist's need for admiration and validation means they will often put unrealistic demands on their mothers, while their need for control makes them manipulative.