Breakups can be brutal—and can easily trigger bipolar symptoms. The end of a relationship often ushers in dark feelings like abandonment, guilt, and rejection. Even if the relationship was toxic and getting out was the right decision, there may be a sense of failure or self-blame.
Bipolar Relationship Breakups: How to Cope
However, relationship breakups can be especially difficult for people with bipolar disorder, not just because of the emotional instability that ensues, but also because of the change in routine, stress, and loss that can trigger either mania or depression.
Turns out, some aspects of falling in love could actually trigger mania for some people with bipolar disorder, says David Miklowitz, PhD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. That can mostly be chalked up to changes in your routine that can be both delightful and disruptive.
If your relationship does end in a breakup, consider taking some time to evaluate why it may have occurred. It's usually not the fault of one person, and both you and your partner likely have something to learn from each other. You might also make some extra time for self-care and reaching out to your support system.
A stressful circumstance or situation often triggers the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Examples of stressful triggers include: the breakdown of a relationship. physical, sexual or emotional abuse.
Factors that may increase the risk of developing bipolar disorder or act as a trigger for the first episode include: Having a first-degree relative, such as a parent or sibling, with bipolar disorder. Periods of high stress, such as the death of a loved one or other traumatic event. Drug or alcohol abuse.
After a manic or hypomanic episode you might: Feel very unhappy or ashamed about how you behaved. Have made commitments or taken on responsibilities that now feel unmanageable. Have only a few clear memories of what happened during your episode, or none at all.
There are a number of possible reasons why someone with bipolar would push others away. This tends to happen during depressive episodes, but it can happen when they're manic or symptom-free, as well. It can be painful when you're shut out, but it's not your fault.
Healthy breakups are possible with Bipolar Disorder, and sometimes necessary. There are occasions when things like a fear of abandonment may prevent you from ending an unhealthy relationship, or seek to recover a previous one, but the decision to offer second chances needs to be taken seriously.
Grandiosity and overconfidence. Easy tearfulness, frequent sadness. Needing little sleep to feel rested. Uncharacteristic impulsive behavior.
Moderate to high quality evidence finds a large effect of more insecure attachment styles in people with bipolar disorder compared to controls. This effect was similar to that seen in people with depression or schizophrenia. It was also similar across all three disorders for anxious attachment style.
“When you're in a hypomanic or manic state, you're also more likely to feel you're in love,” says Haase. “You may then act on that feeling when making major long-term life decisions, not understanding your state had something to do with what you were feeling.”
In other words, experiencing bipolar disorder does not mean you can't tell right from wrong, but its symptoms can temporarily make it harder to let our sense of morality guide our actions.
With bipolar rage there does not necessarily need to be a trigger, it can show up without warning and is always absent of reason. It chooses chaos, it's not the individual choosing to lose control. If anything, control is something we're desperate to have and that desperation only makes our anger more chaotic.
In some studies, the emotional pain people experienced was rated as equivalent to “nearly unbearable” physical pain. Amongst these, other effects of heartbreak include; increased stress, reduction or increase in weight, feeling of hopelessness, self-deprecation, depression and even suicidal thoughts.
People with bipolar disorder, on average, report being highly sensitive to interpersonal rejection, and those who report this sensitivity experience more depression over time (40).
Breakups can be brutal—and can easily trigger bipolar symptoms. The end of a relationship often ushers in dark feelings like abandonment, guilt, and rejection. Even if the relationship was toxic and getting out was the right decision, there may be a sense of failure or self-blame.
If you have bipolar and wish to repair relationships damaged by your behavior (whether while symptomatic or not), it is vital to first recognize the other person's feelings and pain. Admitting to your actions and acknowledging the harm they caused your loved one is a good first step in the process of making amends.
It's common for someone with bipolar disorder to hurt and offend their partner. When someone is first diagnosed, there are often relationship issues that need to be addressed. Couples counseling can help you: Understand that there's an illness involved in the hurtful behavior.
The Role It Plays in Bipolar. Ghosting is a contemporary term used for when a person completely cuts off all communication with a friend or romantic partner by not responding to texts, ignoring calls and acting as if the person no longer exists. It is done without a reason or an explanation from the person doing it.
One of the worst side effects of bipolar disorder is the repetitive cycle of self-sabotage. But you can manage this symptom by mapping out your goals.
Manipulation isn't a formal symptom of bipolar disorder, although some people with the condition may exhibit this behavior. In some cases, manipulative behavior is a result of living with another mental health condition, such as personality disorders, substance use disorders, or trauma.
Manic episodes cause euphoria, exaggerated self-confidence, racing thoughts, high energy and activity levels, and risk-taking behaviors. Depressive episodes are characterized by excessive sadness, lack of energy, loss of interest in activities, changes in eating and sleeping behaviors, and suicidal thoughts.
The average age of bipolar onset is around 25 years old, although it can vary. Sometimes bipolar symptoms start in childhood or later in life. However, the most frequent range of onset is between the ages of 14 to 21 years. Childhood bipolar is relatively rare, with only up to 3% of children receiving this diagnosis.
Types of Bipolar Episodes
People who are experiencing a manic episode have a cluster of symptoms, which may include an unusually elevated or extremely irritable mood, a decreased need for sleep, rapid speech and racing thoughts, excessive interest in pleasurable activities, or feeling overly important and powerful.