Welcome to “traumatic aloneness”. There's feeling lonely, there's feeling alone and then there's traumatic aloneness. Nowadays we often use the word “traumatic” to tell others that something really bad or really distressing happened.
These feelings of loneliness may ultimately lead to posttraumatic stress symptoms via a number of pathways. For example, loneliness may lead to the development of negative cognitions (Cacioppo and Hawkley, 2009), which can predict future PTSD symptoms and impact PTSD treatment (Brown et al., 2019).
Feeling lonely can have a negative impact on your mental health, especially if you've felt lonely for a long time. Some research suggests that loneliness can increase stress. It's also associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems.
Loneliness can lead to various psychiatric disorders like depression, alcohol abuse, child abuse, sleep problems, personality disorders and Alzheimer's disease.
A brain imaging study showed that feeling ostracized actually activates our neural pain matrix. In fact, several studies show that ostracizing others hurts us as much as being ostracized ourselves. We can hypothesize that, similarly, loneliness is associated with the pain matrix.
There are different types of loneliness: emotional, and social and existential loneliness.
It's characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, or social anxiety.
Biologists have shown that feelings of loneliness trigger the release of stress hormones that in turn are associated with higher blood pressure, decreased resistance to infection and increased risk of cardiovascular disease and cancer.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Loneliness is toxic
Loneliness has clear consequences for mental health, aggravating anxiety, depression, and stress-related symptoms. Additionally, it sabotages our physical health. According to two leading researchers, loneliness triggers an inflammatory response and threatens our immune system.
One of the greatest benefits of spending time alone is how it helps you develop a better understanding of who you are. The more you know and understand yourself the more likely you are to do things that you love, learn things that interest you and spend time with people who make you feel good.
Poor social skills often lead to stress and loneliness, which can negatively affect physical as well as mental health.
There is also evidence that loneliness significantly contributes to PTSS and loneliness may be a risk factor for later development of PTSD [40,60,61,73,74].
If you've experienced ongoing feelings of loneliness, it can have negative effects on your physical health. It could lead to weight gain, sleep deprivation, poor heart health, and a weakened immune system. Loneliness can also put your body under more stress than normal.
Vivek Murthy, the US surgeon general, recently warned that “being socially disconnected” has a similar effect on mortality as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. This statement was widely reported in the media, including in the Washington Post, the Times and the Daily Mail.
Loneliness and isolation can be as harmful to your health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, according to a new report from the Surgeon General.
When you feel lonely, you get more defensive. You focus more on self-preservation even though this is not done intentionally. Completely unbeknownst to you, your brain is focusing more on self-preservation than the preservation of those around you. This, in turn, can make you less pleasant to be around.
The key difference between being lonely and being alone is emotional attachment. Being alone is a state of being, while loneliness is a feeling. We can be perfectly happy being by ourselves, but we can also be lonely even if we're with a group of people.
Jesus knew what it was to be lonely! But then He said, “Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me” (John 16:32). Jesus knew what it was to be comforted even in the face of abandonment. When loneliness engulfs us, the first thing we must do is to turn our focus away from what we don't have to what we do have.
“The worst kind of loneliness in the world is isolation that comes from being misunderstood. It can make people lose their grasp on reality.”
Sweden - 47%
Though it has a population of just 10.4 million, nearly 47% of Sweden's populace live alone, the highest of any nation. Widely known for its robust welfare system, housing is largely very affordable in the country, and single-occupancy apartments are very popular.
Loneliness can affect your health in lots of ways. You may not be able to get out to buy healthy foods - or you may not have the motivation to cook for one. And not getting enough mental stimulation increases the chance of depression and dementia.