Just as love and attraction can fade, they can also be rekindled with time, effort, and patience—so long as both partners are willing to put the work in.
Movies try to convince us we'll feel this way forever, but the intense romance has an expiration date for everyone. Expect the passion to last two to three years at most, says Dr. Fred Nour, a neurologist in Mission Viejo, California, and author of the book “True Love: How to Use Science to Understand Love.”
Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive.
A study of 3,512 people found that only 15% got back together with their ex. Another 14% briefly reunited only to break up, and a whopping 70% called it quits for good after their break-up.
Falling back in love with your spouse takes effort – just as the beginning stages and initial getting-to-know-you time had. But it's completely possible and often awakens a new chapter in your life together – a closer, happier, and healthier relationship.
If you're in this position right now and are unsure if you want to continue the relationship, it's important to remember that relationships can go through many different phases. Just because you have lost feelings right now, doesn't mean that you can't ever get them back.
One of the reasons love can fade over time is that it's hard to keep that dopamine buzz going. "Dopamine gets us interested in each other, but it responds only to things that are new or that are possible rather than real," Dr. Lieberman says.
It really depends on why the guy has pulled the slow fade. If he did it to see if the grass was greener with someone else, but ended up regretting that choice he may come crawling back. Other reasons to return might be general doubts about his reasons for ending the relationship or feeling of guilt around it.
In short: yes — as long as both people in the relationship want it to. “Space can heal a relationship,” explains Jason Polk, a licensed clinical social worker and couples therapist in Denver, Colorado, “especially if the couple is currently toxic or verbally abusive to each other.”
As long as you and your partner are both committed to making things work, there's no reason why you can't save your relationship from failing.
Although love can feel powerful, exciting, and meaningful, it may fade in some relationships. As love might simultaneously be an emotion, a choice, and a stage of a relationship, knowing when you no longer love someone can feel confusing.
It's possible to feel like you've suddenly lost interest in your partner and that you no longer care for them as you once did. This isn't always as sudden as it seems as it can be the result of issues that have been building up for some time.
While some people use the no-contact rule to win back their ex, there is no guarantee that it will work. The purpose of the no-contact rule is to give both parties space and time to heal, and it should not be used solely as a strategy to get an ex-partner back.
Letting go is about finding healthy coping habits to make it through another day until the pain and repetitive thoughts are not so all-consuming. Letting go is a reminder that there is still life, and you still matter. There's no love lost and more to be found. You can love someone yet need to let them go.
Will no contact work if he loses feelings? There's no guarantee of that, and that's what makes it a part of life. It is up to you to do your best to keep him (if you want him to remain). However, it would help if you remembered that the one who wants to stay would stay.
Many couples who have called it quits end up getting back together. In fact, a 2013 study found that over one third of couples who live together and one fifth of married couples have experienced a breakup and gotten back together.
Of course. Even when someone breaks your heart, the love for them does not instantly go away. In some cases, it never goes away. It is totally normal to love someone, even after they break your heart.
It is possible to find love after heartbreak, to find joy with another if you give yourself time to reflect on what happened and to resolve your feelings about the past before moving on.