Fear of strangers is very common. It happens as your baby develops a healthy attachment to familiar people – like you. Because babies prefer familiar adults, they might react to strangers by crying or fussing, going very quiet, looking fearful or hiding.
It's important to remember your baby isn't capable of forming an opinion of you as an older child or adult would. If you feel like your baby is rejecting you, it's not because they don't like you. But, it could be because they don't know you.
Normally babies develop a close attachment bond with their main caregiver (usually their parents) within the first months of life. If they are in a situation where they do not receive normal love and care, they cannot develop this close bond. This may result in a condition called attachment disorder.
3 to 7 months
The precursor stage known as stranger anxiety starts as early as 3 months old, but most commonly occurs at 5 months old. This is when babies first start to recognize the difference between their primary caregivers and other adults.
Relax, it's normal. If baby cries with others (or with anyone but mom), it may be due to attachment, says Webb. Babies often see their primary caregiver as a “home base” of sorts, she explains, and they are only comfortable exploring the world when mom or dad is around.
Fear of strangers is very common. It happens as your baby develops a healthy attachment to familiar people – like you. Because babies prefer familiar adults, they might react to strangers by crying or fussing, going very quiet, looking fearful or hiding.
Stranger anxiety, explained
Babies can become very clingy and anxious around new and even familiar people and may cry if suddenly approached by a stranger. While it may be cringe-inducing for you as a parent, it's actually a very normal part of your baby's development.
Newborns only worry whether someone is meeting their needs, and it doesn't matter who that is. It isn't until they're between five and eight months old that they begin to miss you.
The early signs that a secure attachment is forming are some of a parent's greatest rewards: By 4 weeks, your baby will respond to your smile, perhaps with a facial expression or a movement. By 3 months, they will smile back at you. By 4 to 6 months, they will turn to you and expect you to respond when upset.
About Separation Anxiety
Between 4–7 months of age, babies develop a sense of "object permanence." They're realizing that things and people exist even when they're out of sight. Babies learn that when they can't see their caregiver, that means they've gone away.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
They're Bouncing, Wiggling, and Cheering for You
This glee isn't just cute; it's a sign of the deep attachment that's grown between you. On the flip side are your baby's wails of distress when you leave. It's part of their development, and they'll learn that you always come back.
Often, bonding happens gradually over the baby's first year of life. So if you don't feel these strong feelings of closeness in the first days or weeks after birth, that's normal.
“Babies who are already born can experience rejection from a mother. There are decades of research on attachment bonds that help explain this. However, we do not know if unborn babies can experience rejection from a mother.
Some babies are affectionate, some aren't. Just like adults. It could just be a part of their personality, which is always evolving, or something more serious. If you are concerned and there hasn't been any progress, get advice from a GP or paediatrician.
Only between about 3 and 7 months of age do babies start to show a strong preference or attachment for mothers, fathers or members of their own family in general.
It can start as early as 4 or 5 months old. However, more typically, it occurs around 9 months old, says the AAP. By around 8 months, your infant begins to readily distinguish between people, and they form strong emotional attachments to their caregivers.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old.
Your baby's not going to forget you. You should realize, though, that she will—and should—bond with other people. Look for a daycare center where there's one primary caregiver rather than a rotating staff, suggests Lawrence Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting.
Maternal separation anxiety is a construct that describes a mother's experience of worry, sadness, or guilt during short-term separations from her child.
Separation. Babies love to be held, touched and reassured that you're there, so settling in a cot on their own can often be difficult for them. Your baby's missing your touch and attention, and they're letting you know about it . From their very first hours of life, babies will cry when separated from their mothers.
A 2017 study confirms what many parents already instinctively know: You should pick up babies every time they cry. The research from the University of Notre Dame found that it was impossible to spoil an infant by holding or cuddling him, according to an article at News.co.au.
Research has shown that, during pregnancy, your baby feels what you feel—and with the same intensity. That means if you're crying, your baby feels the same emotion, as if it's their own. During the gestational period, your baby is preparing themselves for life in the outside world.
By two months of age, your baby will spend much of each day watching and listening to the people around her. She learns that they will entertain and soothe her, feed her, and make her comfortable. During her first month, she'll experiment with primitive grins and grimaces.