Adults with ADHD can have successful relationships just like other adults can. For an adult with ADHD to have a successful relationship, they should follow these effective communication strategies: Use, “I feel,” statements to focus on feelings.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
While there is no cure for the disorder, you can still have a healthy and loving relationship with a partner who has ADHD. As you start dating or getting to know them more closely, you'll want to learn about their condition and understand how it could affect the relationship.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one. Forgetfulness.
“Self-medicating” with argument is a prime example. Many people with ADHD are, if anything, argument-averse. And certainly, you needn't have ADHD to be an argumentative son of a gun. Yet, some individuals with ADHD do habitually bait others into heated disagreements.
ADHD can be a contributing factor in a wide range of marital problems. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can focus on things that interest them, but not on you. They never seem to follow through on what they agree to do.
Trouble paying attention during intimacy.
Lack of focus is one of the most well-known symptoms of ADHD. So you might find your mind wandering when you're having sex, when you're cuddling, or in the middle of foreplay. If you're with a partner, they may think that you're not interested in them.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the feelings of joy and excitement can be even more intense for them. Teens might feel a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance, perhaps for the first time.
The key to dating someone with ADHD is to take the time to better-understand how the neurodivergent brain functions. You may need to work with your partner to re-imagine the roles and responsibilities within your relationship in order to decrease the likelihood of confusion, disappointment, and tension.”
Individuals with ADHD reported significantly more hypersexual behaviors than non-ADHD individuals, whereas no differences were found concerning risky sexual behaviors or sexual dysfunctions.
For both men and women, ADHD symptoms were positively and moderately associated with hypersexuality. Associations between ADHD symptoms and problematic pornography use were different for men and women, however. For men, the link was positive and moderate, but for women, it was “positive, but weak.”
People with ADHD may be seen as insensitive, self-absorbed, or disengaged with the world around them. Emotional detachment, or the act of being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of others, is a symptom of ADHD. However, it can also be caused by Adderall, a medication used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy.
More revealing is the fact that 38 percent of respondents with ADHD said their marriage had teetered close to divorce in the past. An additional 22 percent said divorce had “crossed my mind;” just 31 percent of respondents with ADHD said they had never given a thought to divorce.
Studies show that marriages in which one or both partners have ADHD are more than twice as likely to divorce and had briefer marriages prior to divorce.
All of these characteristics can make it hard for a person with ADHD to be in a successful relationship. It's not just that the burden falls on their partner, either: Research suggests that adults with the condition report that they're more dissatisfied with their marriages than even their partners.
Adults with ADHD may find it difficult to focus and prioritize, leading to missed deadlines and forgotten meetings or social plans. The inability to control impulses can range from impatience waiting in line or driving in traffic to mood swings and outbursts of anger.
ADHD makes us more sensitive to criticism. Often, our first instinct is to respond defensively or angrily to outside comments that feel like disapproval. But adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) should know that doing so could sacrifice learning opportunities and the respect of others.
An ADHD sufferer may be unable to pay attention to anything that isn't new, which pulls attention away from the relationship as it matures. Because he's not aware that he's doing anything wrong, the ADHD partner often doesn't respond or take the necessary steps to focus on the relationship.
Many people with attention deficit disorder unnecessarily create too much drama in their lives as a way to boost adrenaline and stimulate their frontal lobes. These interpersonal “games” are not engaged in willingly; they are driven by the needs of the ADHD brain.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.