However, when you are unable to deal with the stress caused by marital problems, you might start looking for unhealthy and potentially destructive coping mechanisms – such as drinking. Sometimes both spouses drink heavily in these conditions that can lead to a downward spiral and more negative interactions.
Approximately 50% of divorced couples cite alcohol abuse as a factor leading to their divorce, while couples where only one spouse drinks heavily have a higher divorce rate (5.8%) than those where both spouses consume alcohol (1.9%).
You have physical symptoms.
“An unhappy marriage chronically feels bad. It's like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable,” explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph. D. "Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain.
More often, they drink due to life situations that can cause anxiety, fear, depression, worry, and other negative expressions. Addiction specialists should begin treatment by addressing alcohol misuse and mental health concerns that may cause or contribute to ongoing drinking habits.
Excessive Drinking or Drinking Alone
Maybe you notice your husband has a few cocktails every night. Even if it seems as though your partner's drinking isn't affecting their daily life, excessive drinking and a tolerance build-up are a major sign that they may be an alcoholic or struggling with addiction.
Accepting that your partner has a drinking problem without making excuses for them or relating problems resulting from too much drinking to other factors, can be the first important step towards their recovery. The next step is to tell them how their drinking is impacting you.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
An unreliable partner is also toxic, always promising to do things but never coming through, leading to stress in the marriage. An overly jealous and possessive person can be toxic because their suspicions and controlling behavior can make life miserable for their partner.
Third Marriages Have the Highest Divorce Rate—73%
Those who wed multiple times face a far higher rate of divorce.
Divorce Rate by Gender
When it comes to men and women, there's a clear answer as to who is filing for divorce more often. Nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife. In addition, over 50% of divorced wives never want to remarry while only about 30% of men express that same sentiment.
In fact, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. That doesn't exactly make you want to run to the altar.
Miserable Husband Syndrome or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man experiences hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger due to the decrease in testosterone caused by aging (andropause), certain medications, or abnormally-high levels of stress.
Fear. The threat of physical violence, further emotional abuse, harming your children by depriving them of a nuclear family, and concern about how friends and family will perceive them are commonly-cited reasons why people may choose to stay in an unhappy marriage.
Negative communication patterns may present themselves as Gottman's evidence-based Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predictors of divorce or separation in your relationship. Understanding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — and their antidotes — is vital to creating relationship satisfaction.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy.
"Silent divorce refers to a gradual slow decline of a relationship whereby two people drift apart," says relationship therapist Beverley Blackman.
Al-Sherbiny [41] reported the “first wife syndrome,” where the first wife reported difficulties faced psychological, physical, and social problems among women in a polygamous marriage.
The author, Carin Rubenstein, has discovered that millions of wives think they do everything better than their husbands. They feel they are more responsible, more capable, and, in a word, superior.
Be patient and stay calm
Remember that it's their decision to change and not yours. If someone is angry, aggressive, or repetitive, just try and be as patient as possible and don't react to provocation. Instead try doing an activity first and then bring up what you want to talk about.
Although it may not feel like your place, it's not unreasonable to ask your significant other to get help for their addiction. You are their life partner, and their addiction has a serious effect on your relationship. However, it's often a difficult subject to approach.