Yes, it's totally normal to be unsure if you love someone, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
Every couple experiences doubt. It is natural, it is unavoidable, it can cycle back more than a few times throughout the course of a healthy relationship, and it's something you can work through. “Doubt is the other side of certainty,” says Dr.
When you're in love with someone, you'll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship, such as emotional or physical intimacy, passion, and a desire to know everything about them, and be known by them in return.
Having doubts about your relationship can be a sign that something is not as good as it could be – in your relationship, within yourself, and often both. In this situation, the changes that are best are different for everyone. There is a balance to be found between uncertainty and taking your partner for granted.
Doubting long-term compatibility
Relationship anxiety can make you question whether you and your partner are truly compatible, even when things are going great in the relationship. You might also question whether you're actually happy or if you just think you are.
It's totally normal to have times where you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it's painful to have stillnesses in a relationship that leave you feeling lost or doubting its future. You may still "love" your partner, and you may still want it to work with them.
Mixed feelings may just be normal relationship confusion, or they may be an indication that it is time to move on. Either way, be sure not to put too much pressure on yourself to have the perfect relationship. If you seek romantic love, the right type of love for you will come along, so long as you don't force it.
Doubt often comes, for example, when a new level of a relationship presents itself, such as talk of moving in or of marriage. So some doubts are really just a stress response. They can be our brain's way of working through and preparing for the new challenges ahead.
"Doubt in relationships, particularly after being with your partner for a long period of time, is a common feeling we all may undergo at some point. It's normal to have fear or uncertainty about the person you are with." It's part of the human condition.
Doubt is a perfectly normal part of any relationship. It becomes problematic, though, when we avoid resolving it. You've heard it before, but it's worth repeating: Pretty much everything in a relationship boils down to communication, Batshaw says.
Not wanting to fall in love can sometimes signify a problem with esteem, attachment, anxiety, or another issue. You might feel anxious about becoming attached to someone and potentially losing them. Or you might have low self-esteem and struggle with feeling that you are unloveable.
Do I rarely feel like myself anymore? Am I anxious or desperate toward my relationship partner? Do I feel like there is something wrong with me that I am frantic to fix? Has my relationship impacted or hurt my friendships?
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
If you're in love with your partner, then you'll never feel limited or held back from trying new things. However, if you're merely comfortable, then chances are you'll settle for routine over new opportunities.
If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn't a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It's important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness.
"It's important to give someone a chance as you build the relationship, even if you don't feel that initial pang of chemistry," says Ury. "The right relationship might take some time to warm up, but it'll be worth the wait."
Lack of trust may lead to feeling distant from your partner, especially if you previously had trust for them and lost confidence in them. Losing trust could come from not abiding by agreed rules for the relationship, such as infidelity, or it could be that your partner has suddenly been less open than you.
ROCD is the fear of being in the wrong relationship, fear of not being truly loved by your partner, or fear of not truly loving your partner. It's important to keep in mind that no matter how disturbing the thoughts you have may be, you are not a bad person for simply experiencing intrusive thoughts.
Common Relationship Issues for People With Anxiety
When someone worries a lot, they may use unhealthy strategies to cope with the anxiety they feel. Over time, this can erode their relationships with the people they love, and who love them.