The truth of the matter is that there is no right or wrong length of time to wait to get engaged. Some couples wait six years before making it official, while others date for just six months—it all depends on your unique circumstances.
A study found that waiting a bit to get married can decrease the likelihood you'll get divorced. Specifically, waiting three years or more decreases the likelihood of divorce by 50%. But there's no one-size-fits-all amount of time — couples who waited until they knew each other "very well" had the same outcome.
Average dating time before engagement depends on the individuals and the rapport they share. It could be one or two years for some or even five or six years. Some may even connect within a few weeks or months. It is when you know the most about your partner and are willing to spend the rest of your life with them.
One in five people (20%) say that couples should generally date for 12-18 months before getting engaged. Another 15% say they should date for 18-24 months, while another 15% think two to three years of dating is ideal. Women tended to be more slightly cautious than men.
“It's best to wait until at least 3-6 months to see if the feelings you have are for real or just a fading spark of lust. You need to have emotional and rational feelings towards one another.” However, award-winning relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan said that it's never too soon.
Is one year too soon to propose? Once again, it depends! Some couples may feel ready to marry after one year, but for others, it may seem way too fast. Make sure you and your partner agree on your relationship timeline before getting down on one knee.
Earnshaw offers a shorter time frame—she says people typically date for about two years on average before getting engaged—but she emphasizes that every relationship is different. "I have worked with couples who have gotten engaged within six months and those that have waited much, much longer."
Our deep dive into the average American engagement revealed that the average engaged couple is 23 to 27 years old and has been dating for an average of 13 to 18 months.
How Long Do People Date Before Getting Married? The average couple has a dating time for over two years according to The Knot. If you wait for half that time, chances are you don't really know the person well enough and the couple's relationship satisfaction may still be in the “puppy love” stage.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
It could be that he has commitment issues. It could be that he wants to propose in a fancy and memorable way and hasn't found the moment yet. It could be that he has tried to propose to you like 5 times already and got too nervous to do it each time and is now building up the courage to do it again.
It is said that couples who have been together for three years may know by the three-year mark if they want to remain together or not. They may start to see incompatibilities or find themselves arguing more. For some, the three-year mark may involve less conflict.
The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.
He's just not ready
Perhaps he has some growing up to do, some issues to work through, or other things which hold him back. Marriage is the union of two people and you have to respect his timeline as well as your own. If he isn't ready, and doesn't know when he will be, you may have some tough choices ahead.
One lasting side effect for taking too long to propose is that your partner may begin to feel resentful. They may feel as though something must be wrong with them that is making you not want to pop the question. Or they may start feeling like you just don't value them or take them seriously.
Six to 7 months
Research has indicated that the average North American man takes 6-7 months to conclude if the person he is dating is marriage material to him. This low number may come as a shock to many people who are in unmarried relationships lasting years, which can happen for several reasons.
The study also revealed that men will have six relationships - two of which will last more than a year, while women will have five. Men and women both face get cheated on once in their quest to find 'The One' - but the average adult will also be the cheater on at least one occasion in their dating lifetime.
According to The Knot 2021 Engagement and Jewelry Study, the average relationship length before getting married is two (or more) years. This was true for roughly 70% of the couples surveyed, which means approximately 30% of couples got engaged in less than two years.
Benson's central recommendation is that dating and cohabiting couples should have a serious discussion about the future of their relationship and where it is going within two years, and if the relationship is not headed toward marriage by then, it is time to end it.
One of the most essential signs that you're ready for marriage is that you're able to support yourself. While marriage is a source of reliance on the other spouse, neither partner should rely fully on the other person without the ability to care for him or herself, explains Dr. Sherman.
When he's going to propose, your man might start to act just a little weird. One of the biggest signs that he is going to propose is a change in his general attitude. He'll go out of his way to tell you how much he loves you. He's hoping you'll do the same; he's looking for confirmation that the time is right.
The study also looked at couples who were quicker to get married. These couples dated an average of eighteen months and were engaged for half that time. Of those who were quicker to marry, the study found that the marriages survived to the seven-year mark, but many divorced after that.