Being picked up and held can make some cats nervous, as they are being restrained in your arms. This limits their options for escape if anything were to startle them. Cats are independent creatures, and although they often like to be up high, they like to choose their own perch and not be restrained whilst doing so.
Know Your Cat's Tolerance Level
The longer you hold a squirmy, unhappy cat, the more she'll hate being held the next time. If your cat hates being picked up and held, slow down and just focus on being able to put one hand on her side and then releasing. Work up to placing a hand on each side and then letting go.
Practice holding your cat. The trick is to hold her loosely enough that she doesn't feel restrained, but firmly enough so that she doesn't feel unstable. Some cats are most comfortable being held over your shoulder. Others prefer for you to hold them with one hand on their back, and the other holding their hind legs.
Cats can vary significantly in their comfort level at being carried. Some cats won't let you hold them at all, others might allow it but glare at you with quiet scorn, while still others might absolutely love it, even seeking out a person's arms or shoulders as their preferred perch.
Some people might think that it's safe to pick up a cat by the scruff of their neck as this is how mother cats pick up their kittens. But humans are not mother cats and kittens lose scruff as they grow older. Picking up a cat by the scruff can actually cause trauma, pain and muscle damage.
If her tail is bushy or she gives you a hostile meow, don't pick her up in the first place. If she squirms or nips once she's in your arms, put her down immediately. When cats are held, they may feel like they aren't in control of the situation and will want to get away as soon as possible.
Respect Your Cat's Space
Although it might make you feel better, resist the urge to pick up or cuddle a frightened cat. “Forcing interactions on a nervous cat is never, ever a good idea,” says Nicole Larocco-Skeehan, a certified animal trainer and behavior consultant and owner of pet training facility Philly Unleashed.
“The more points on a cat's body that are touching your body, the more comfortable and relaxed your cat will be,” says Mikkel Becker, a cat training consultant. Never pick up a cat by the scruff of the neck or by the front legs. Picking up a cat the wrong way can cause the animal discomfort or even injury.
They May Feel Disrespected
Most cats like to perch up high to keep an eye over their domain, but many of them like to do it their way and don't appreciate you lifting them up. After all, they descend from wild cats who climb just fine on their own. They may feel disrespected if you're doing the work for them.
Place one hand and part of your arm under the cat's front legs and the other underneath her back legs. She needs to feel supported under her rear end especially. Step 2: Lift the cat. Once you lift her up, immediately bring her close to your body, against your chest or stomach.
If your cat doesn't enjoy being held, it may be because he just feels disrespected when you scoop him up. Other cats may have a related reason for resisting restraint — and, let's face it, being picked up and held is a form of restraint, even if it's meant lovingly.
If your cat has a lowered or puffed-up tail, it could mean they are afraid or uncomfortable. Cats might also bite you or hiss at you if they aren't your biggest fan. Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
Pay attention to signs of irritation and give the cat a break if you observe them. Signs include: tail swishing, a cranky meow, or a quick head turn to stare at your hand. Let them sit next to you without pets, or try playing with them with an interactive toy as an alternative to cuddles.
Having a safe, designated area such as a spare bedroom where your cat can sleep, eat and drink and potty that is not in your bedroom can be helpful to your sleep schedule and relationship with your cat.
A quiet corner of a bedroom or living room is ideal, and once your cat is snoozing, make sure you leave them alone to avoid startling them awake.
If you opt for providing your pet a bed of her own, be sure to place it in an area that is comfortable, safe and has the right temperature. Don't put it near a high traffic area or in a cool or damp place. Don't put it near the family dog. Don't put it near the front or back door.
Spots where most cats like to be petted include the scent glands that are located between the ears, at the base of the ears, on their cheeks, and under the chin. They may also enjoy light pressure down their neck and back, stopping right before their tail.
Smell Transfer
Cats recognize each other (and us) by scent. Raising the butt is your cat's way of getting their anal glands closer to your nose so you can get a whiff of their pheromones. This is how cats introduce themselves to other cats.
If your cat sleeps on your bed, he may choose a position that lets him see out your bedroom door more easily. If he's curled up in a ball under your bed or in a quiet corner, then he may be hiding. Cats who sleep under the covers might love being close to you, or they might be hiding to feel safer.