One of the best defenses against gaslighting is to educate yourself about this kind of emotional abuse. Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame.
I think it's safe to say that even some people with ADHD can be intentionally gaslighting — and perhaps intentionally target other people with ADHD.
Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators. It's important to point out that gaslighting is a “patterned” behavior.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
Some children with ADHD are prone to emotional outbursts of anger, violence, and abusive language.
Folks with ADHD may tend to be impulsive or angry, but they're not always violent. ADHD doesn't directly lead to violence or aggression among those who live with this condition, but some people diagnosed with ADHD may be more violent due to symptoms like emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.
Gaslighter's Victims
People who are most susceptible to being victims of gaslighting more often exhibit characteristics of ADHD, anxiety or depression, said Sarkis. Gaslighting is present in about 30 to 40 percent of the couples she treats, where such disorders are more commonly represented.
Certain mental health conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder lend themselves to gaslighting as those illnesses give people a distorted view of themselves and others and a propensity toward manipulating others for their own ends by any means necessary, as well as never ...
They lack empathy for others, and their gaslighting can cause danger to their victims both mentally and emotionally. Commonly, a gaslighter has a condition known as a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They have admiration for themselves over others and will do whatever it takes to put themselves in control.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags.
Trauma's Impact on ADHD Symptoms
Traumatic stress can worsen ADHD symptoms. Up to 17% of trauma-exposed children meet ADHD criteria, and the co-occurrence of each worsens the effects of the other. Trauma also impacts specific brain regions that may also increase: Inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
Anger is not on the official list of ADHD symptoms . However, many adults with ADHD struggle with anger, especially impulsive, angry outbursts . Triggers can include frustration, impatience, and even low self-esteem. A number of prevention tips may help adults with ADHD manage anger as a symptom.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
People with ADHD can be susceptible to toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are found at work, at home, in friendships, and in romantic relationships. Learn how to protect yourself from people who don't have your best interests in mind.
ADHD Is Not Intentional Misbehavior or Manipulation
Far too many people assume that children and adolescents with ADHD are able to control their behavior — but choose not to. This is simply not true. Hyperactivity and impulsivity happen without thinking because of neurological wiring.
ADHD blurs the boundaries between what you should say, what you shouldn't, and when to speak up. Impulsive behavior, one of the main symptoms of the disorder, can make others feel angry or hurt and make you feel bad, too.
Problems with emotional dysregulation, in particular with anger reactivity, are very common in people with ADHD. You are not alone in struggling in this area. Anger may indicate an associated mood problem but often is just part of the ADHD. Either way, changes in traditional ADHD treatment can be very helpful.
Yes, gaslighting can be unconscious, which occurs when the person gaslighting is unaware that they are doing it. It happens when the gaslighter does not intend to manipulate the other person into believing that they are going insane. It is common in close relationships such as parents, children, partners, and spouses.
Additionally, these researchers found that overall, participants with ADHD were also more likely to experience physical abuse at the hands of an intimate partner than the comparison groups (30.7% vs. 6.3%).
“A gaslighter will often make you beg for their forgiveness and apologize profusely for any 'wrong' you committed, even if it's something they did,” Stern says. Sometimes you may not even know what you're apologizing for, other than they're upset and it's your responsibility to calm them down.
Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame. Know that there is hope, and you can rebuild your life after living with gaslighting for months or even years.