According to a leading relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, affairs don't just happen overnight. The act of emotionally or physically going outside of the relationship is the result of small, almost imperceptible events over a long period.
Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.
The verdict: Affairs don't “just happen”
Affairs happen because of two main factors that put the relationship already at risk, Lissy Ann said, and these two culprits are emotional readiness and timely opportunities.
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.
Loved-up couples be warned: September has been named the month when affairs are most likely to begin. Overtaking January as the biggest month for infidelity, new research has found those looking to stray are more likely to start an affair in September than any other time of the year.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.
Can extramarital affairs be true love? Yes, but be careful. Far too often they will end in disappointment or in a dramatic mess. And even if an affair does turn out to be true love, transforming it into a working and stable relationship is going to be difficult and take time and tears.
First, affairs are often a replication waiting to happen. And second, affairs are often forged with the same magnetic power that a marriage is, often rendering the affair as hard to break as a marriage. Thus, ending an affair, especially if it is long-term, may resemble a divorce.
It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. In the same study that states that cheaters will cheat again, they found that those who have been cheated on will most likely be cheated on again.
Here's what we do know about the prevalence of cheating. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers polled 441 people and reported: a little over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs. nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity reported staying together.
For some, cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of the self. These cheaters don't actually want to change the core of who they are; they just want to escape the constraints of that for a little while. They're not looking for another person; they're looking for hidden versions of themselves.
Inappropriate Sharing. Emotional affairs may begin with conversations about work and other topics but they often shift into more intimate details about your life, relationships, personal issues, and sex life.
Infidelity happens in bad marriages and in good marriages. It happens even in open relationships where extramarital sex is carefully negotiated beforehand. The freedom to leave or divorce has not made cheating obsolete.
An affair will last as long as it suits its purpose, and no longer. Some affairs last only a couple hours, while others can last a lifetime. Most affairs come to light one way or another, which can cut them short or – if the cheated spouse agrees to let the cheater continue for reasons of their own – extend them.
Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating. And more men than women stay married when they are the cheating partner (61% vs 44%).
According to WebMD, the “in love” stage of an affair lasts 6 to 18 months, on average. And around 75% of the marriages that start as affairs end in divorce. Considering only 5 to 7% of affair relationships lead to marriage, that's a grim statistic for couples hoping their affairs will last forever.
Yes, there is definitely a connection between midlife crisis and affairs. However, this happens in both men and women (though more common in men), as both are similarly burdened by the fear of aging and their mortality. The saying “if you are not moving forward, you are falling behind” is a common belief among men.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
Extramarital Affairs/Infidelities are common. Most estimates indicate that around 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that an affair has occurred sometime in their marriage and it suggests that 70% of all marriages experience an affair.