In the past, it was believed that a diagnosis of Asperger's or autism was incompatible with love and relationships. But love is an emotion that can be fully experienced by nearly anyone, despite differences in perception, social interaction patterns, or emotional expression.
In short, autistic people are more than capable of love and being in romantic relationships. Being in a relationship with an autistic person may just look a little different than what you're used to.
Given that Asperger's makes emotional connections and social communication extremely difficult, it's no wonder that a partnership between a person with Asperger's syndrome and someone without it can be filled with stress, misunderstandings, and frustration.
People with Asperger's also have strengths that make them wonderful partners. They tend to be honest, loyal, humorous, and champions of the underdog. Autistic people don't often get caught up in social constructs, so they can see right to the heart of what matters.
I have found, as an Aspie among neurotypical folks, that having realistic expectations of others is of critical importance in order to be happy. The higher your expectations are of the people around you, the more likely you are to feel let down by them at some point, even when they haven't done anything wrong.
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
NT spouses can often experience their own mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, affective deprivation disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder, as a result of being in a relationship with an undiagnosed and untreated partner with AS for an extended period of time.
Adults who experience Asperger's may find it challenging to deal with their emotional responses to situations or events. This can cause the person to react inappropriately or have emotional outbursts. People may also have difficulty understanding the emotional experiences of others.
Aspies tend to express love through practical actions, whereas NTs are more likely to express love through words or symbolic actions.
Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Some people with autism may have the ability to sense emotional needs in someone else, even if they are not outwardly visible. In such cases, they may show love by doing something, rather than saying something, in unique ways.
A significant number of people with Asperger's Syndrome have been perceived to display either an over-sensitivity or an under-sensitivity to sensory stimuli. This includes all, or a combination of: touch, taste, smell, sound, sight and movement, as well as possible problems with motor co-ordination.
About 35% of autistic people are married, though such figures don't always take into account people that aren't diagnosed or have received a potential misdiagnosis. Did you know that about 50% of all people with ASD live at home with their families or their parents?
It should be noted that though kids with Asperger's don't usually have language deficits-they can be very talkative, in fact-many on the autism spectrum do have difficulty communicating verbally, which is partly why new diagnostic criteria will stress social communication deficits and restricted interests.
How Does Autism Affect Intimacy in Sexual Relationships? Intimacy is the sharing of emotional, cognitive, and physical aspects of oneself with those of another individual. People with autism often have problems with rigidity and the need for repetition, which may limit the spontaneity and playfulness of sexual contact.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil. Touch aversion in autism can feel uncomfortable for friends and family who are unfamiliar with this common response.
The main results revealed that children with autism expressed jealousy in situations similar to their typical age mates but manifested it in different behaviors.
Autism Corner: Personality Types in Asperger's: Fixated, Disruptive, Approach and Avoidant. Fixated Personality–The fixated personality type can be characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and the need to control one's environment (e.g., to have things in a particular order).
They may seem detached, which could stem from the difficulty to understand nonverbal cues like body language or recognize when someone is upset. This could also be from being overstimulated and overwhelmed. Though there's a myth they are blunt and selfish, people with Asperger's can be very kind.
“I think it is an important distinction that even though someone has severe difficulties with functioning in everyday life, they can still be happy,” he says. “Maybe we don't think a person with Asperger's is living up to his potential, but perhaps he feels that he is.”