While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged.
A tight hug provides deep pressure, which helps them feel calm and secure. A long bear hug may help them feel better.
Children with ASD often need a hug, just like other children. Sometimes they need this much more than other children. But some children don't like to be touched. Respect their personal space.
Stephen Shore, EdD (special education professor, author, and Autism self-advocate) famously said, “If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism.” Simply put, everyone is different! Since the Autism spectrum is so diverse, you can't say that everyone with Autism does or does not like hugs.
Physical touch can present complications for an autistic person. They may abhor all types of physical interaction, they may crave certain kinds of physical contact, or different intensities in certain situations. Knowing your loved one is key.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged. Some children can swing the opposite way and want so many hugs that they feel hug deprived when they aren't getting enough.
It would be wrong to suggest that all individuals with autism have an aversion to touch – some may enjoy it outright, and others may enjoy it in certain contexts or forms, such as a preference for deep pressure versus light brushing.
Touch may develop abnormally in autism, resulting in a hypersensitivity to tactile stimuli. Some children with the disorder dislike certain textures.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
However, they look up to the mother or caregiver for social referencing and hover around or cling to the caregiver. Children with an ASD are not vigilant and do not look up to the caregiver for social referencing. They may not cling to the caregiver, although go up to them for succor.
The Big Hug has been found to be effective because it allows the caregiver to simultaneously apply different amounts of soft, wrap-around pressure to five separate areas for the body. The caregiver or user is then able to release the Big Hug's wraps after the desired amount of individual sensory needs are obtained.
Autistic people do not always pick up on the subtleties of social interactions as easily as their typically developing peers. They may not understand why it is okay to hug their friend on a play date but it's not acceptable to hug a stranger on the sidewalk.
Tactile stimming can include touching different textures, rubbing hands together, repeatedly hugging themselves or others, rolling themselves up in a blanket and so on.
About stimming and autism
Stimming might include: hand and finger mannerisms – for example, finger-flicking and hand-flapping. unusual body movements – for example, rocking back and forth while sitting or standing. posturing – for example, holding hands or fingers out at an angle or arching the back while sitting.
In previous studies, children with autism have been found to have unusually wide faces and wide-set eyes. The cheeks and the nose are also shorter on their faces (Aldridge et al., 2011).
Smiling may not come easily to you if you are autistic or neurodiverse. It might feel unnatural or insincere. It doesn't mean you're in a bad mood if you don't smile. You could be neutral or really focused on your work.
Facial expressions smooth social interactions: A smile may show interest, a frown empathy. People with autism have difficulty making appropriate facial expressions at the right times, according to an analysis of 39 studies1. Instead, they may remain expressionless or produce looks that are difficult to interpret.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
For instance, it is not disinterest in social interactions that separates autistic people from others or influences their choice to be alone; instead, they have the desire for friendship but are obstructed by the social and environmental challenges they face.
The patterns of these relationships are like those of autistic girls – autistic women tend to have one or two close, intense friendships. Their romantic partner is often their main relationship, sometimes acting as a 'social gatekeeper', meaning that they socialise mainly with their partner's friends.
Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers. For many younger children it's Thomas the Tank Engine, dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.