However, according to Dr Garnett, it's quite common for girls and women on the spectrum to become “intensely jealous” of those around them who appear to be having it easier socially. “The jealousy toward the well-liked girl or the assertive boy can turn into wanting to be that girl, or that boy,” she says. .
These traits can include anything from jealousy to anger issues to anxiety — anything that seems to be getting in the way of a satisfying relationship.
Jealousy is a tough emotion to deal with because it may not appear as jealousy when it surfaces. Jealousy in children with autism and their siblings may look different. For their siblings, jealousy can appear as anger or deep sadness and retreat from a typically developing sibling.
Autistic people often experience insecure attachments. Autistic people are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style: One study found a higher rate of avoidant attachment styles among Autistic individuals.
People with autism spectrum disorder are sometimes said to lack empathy (the ability to feel along with others) and/or sympathy (the ability to feel for others). While this stereotype is often used to describe all people with autism, these challenges are not experienced by everyone on the spectrum.
For some autistic adults, emotions do not show, either on their face, in their body or in their tone of voice. The circuitry in the brain responsible for expression of emotion through the body and voice is working differently in autism.
The aversion to touch may be misunderstood as a lack of comfort with affection. Children with autism do experience and express affection – some may simply experience and express it differently than others.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
It's always a learning curve in the beginning. And there are always challenges and benefits to each person you date. For instance, autistic people tend to be particularly honest, reliable, and loyal — some of the most important traits for a long-term relationship.
However, they look up to the mother or caregiver for social referencing and hover around or cling to the caregiver. Children with an ASD are not vigilant and do not look up to the caregiver for social referencing. They may not cling to the caregiver, although go up to them for succor.
Probably one of the most devastating myths for families is the misconception that children with autism cannot give and receive affection and love. We know that sensory stimulation is processed differently by some children with autism, causing them to have difficulty expressing affection in conventional ways.
Autistic teenagers develop romantic feelings just as other children the same age do. Visual supports and social stories can help autistic teenagers recognise attraction and negotiate romantic relationships. Talking about good signs and bad signs can help autistic teenagers build respectful relationships.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
While love is expressed and experienced differently from person to person, those with autism are fully capable of forming deep emotional connections. These can include love for their family, friends, romantic partners, or even interests and hobbies.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Only when you understand your own needs and abilities can you partner with someone to manage the challenges of the love language! There are many young adults on the autism spectrum who find love and enjoy long-term, satisfying romantic relationships.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
Many autistic people are motivated to have friends, relationships and close family bonds, despite the clinical characterisation of autism as a condition negatively affecting social interaction.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things.
Since the Autism spectrum is so diverse, you can't say that everyone with Autism does or does not like hugs. However, I have recently noticed that there isn't much of a “gray area” when it comes to Autism and physical affection; it's either one way or the other!