In short, autistic people are more than capable of love and being in romantic relationships. Being in a relationship with an autistic person may just look a little different than what you're used to.
Love is a complex emotion that even neurotypical people have a hard time understanding. So, can people with autism fall in love? The answer may surprise you. Some researchers believe that people with autism are actually more capable of experiencing deep and meaningful love than neurotypical people.
Key points. Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
They may avoid interactions or eye contact or even resist parental attention, hugs, or cuddling. There has been more research into the reasoning behind this, but many times it results in people with autism being defensive against touch.
By nature, humans crave social support and strong relationships. Autistic people are no exception, and they're capable of connecting with others at an empathic level. Their emotions can run deep, even if they have different ways of expressing themselves.
These responses are often described as a general hypersensitivity, but they are more complex than that: Sometimes autistic people crave touch; sometimes they cringe from it.
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
There are many misconceptions about autism, some of the biggest being centered around autistic people and romantic relationships. Some believe that autistic people aren't interested in romantic relationships or aren't capable of romantic love. However, this is far from the truth.
Autistic children love their parents
You may have to learn to see how your child expresses affection and not take it personally if your child doesn't show affection in the way that typical children do.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Individuals with ASD seem to have more hypersexual and paraphilic fantasies and behaviors than general-population studies suggest. However, this inconsistency is mainly driven by the observations for male participants with ASD.
Often people with autism are like three-year olds: They are brutally honest to a fault. While this trait can cause embarrassment, it also means this person hasn't learned to lie, hide true feelings, sweep things under the rug, or manipulate.
Summary. While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.
Aspies tend to express love through practical actions, whereas NTs are more likely to express love through words or symbolic actions.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense.
Stephen Shore, EdD (special education professor, author, and Autism self-advocate) famously said, “If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism.” Simply put, everyone is different! Since the Autism spectrum is so diverse, you can't say that everyone with Autism does or does not like hugs.
The experiment found that the dorsal parietal cortex was less active when a person with autism tried to maintain eye contact with their partner. The more severe the ASD diagnosis, the less their brain lit up.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.