Toddlers favoring one parent over the other is very common! Parent favoritism is often the result of feeling more connected to the parent they spend more time with. It can also be a personality thing, or a toddler exercising their independence.
Newborn babies do not begin to prefer mother, father or anyone at first. In fact, it usually takes infants until they're about 2 or 3 months old before they start to show a strong preference for mother, father or anyone. While a baby is primed for social interaction soon after birth, its abilities are pretty limited.
It's common for children to develop favorites around age 2, and they may cycle from one parent to another, or prefer different parents for different activities, up through age 5. Showing a preference is one way children attempt to control their world, which might feel especially out of control right now.
Why a child only wants one parent. Sometimes when your child favors you or your partner, this is a way of showing toddler independence. She wants to prove that she can make her own choices (in the same way she insists on The Runaway Bunny every night or the green sippy cup every time she has something to drink).
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
It's a scenario that plays out with almost all newborns — especially with breastfed ones, but even with those who formula feed right from the start. Given a choice, choosy babies choose Mom. And when you consider the initial biological edge brand-new moms have over brand-new dads, it's no surprise.
The stubbornly uttered phrase of, “Daddy do it, not Mommy!” is familiar to many parents of little ones, and it's hard not to take it personally. But it's good to know it's quite common.
Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.
But many first-time parents find that after the first month of parenthood, it can actually get more difficult. This surprising truth is one reason many experts refer to a baby's first three months of life as the “fourth trimester.” If months two, three, and beyond are tougher than you expected, you're not alone.
When your baby is a newborn, they think they are a part of you. As they grow, they'll start to work out that they're their own person and develop independence, with your support of course.
It's no wonder then that research finds that the hardest years of parenting are the tween, (or middle school if you're in the USA) years. They may be less physically exhausting than the early years, but emotionally they are so much more exhausting.
Curious or reserved? Your baby is born with his own temperament, but that's just the beginning. Even though genetics do play a role, everything your child experiences, sees and hears influences him and contributes to gradually building his character and personality.
Myth: “Babies can have a secure attachment bond with more than one person.” Fact: Babies form a secure attachment with only one person – the person who spends the most time caring for them. However, they can bond or connect in a loving way with all those people who take care of them.
Some people with daddy issues avoid getting close to anybody. When challenges arise in a relationship, they tend to run away. They also worry about and have difficulty with intimacy. Anxious preoccupied daddy issues cause some people to feel unsettled when they're not with their partners.
The “DAD effect” is when someone struggles with depression, followed by substance use (addiction), then denial (DAD). Being aware of DAD and understanding it will help determine the best support required.
Scientific evidence shows that a physically abusive father can traumatize adolescents and lead to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal. 4 The adolescent may also mimic their father's aggressive and violent behavior after spending more time together. Spending lots of time with a father isn't always ideal.
Normally babies develop a close attachment bond with their main caregiver (usually their parents) within the first months of life. If they are in a situation where they do not receive normal love and care, they cannot develop this close bond. This may result in a condition called attachment disorder.
In conclusion, it is a painful when a baby rejects mom or dad. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. But it is common, normal and it will pass, especially if you can avoid reinforcing it by letting your frustrations shine through to your baby. Focus on love and fun!
It's not uncommon for children to prefer one parent over the other. Sometimes this is due to a change in the parenting roles: a move, a new job, bedrest, separation. During these transitions, parents may shift who does bedtime, who gets breakfast, or who is in charge of daycare pickup.
Not worrying may be easier said than done, but truly, parental preference is a normal and healthy part of toddlerhood. It can pop up between ages one to three, as children become more independent and learn to express their opinions.
Most importantly, remember that it's totally normal for the breastfed baby to only want mom – and not to feel too discouraged if baby screams and cries in dad's arms.
Myth: Babies who have been breastfed are clingy.
Breastfeeding provides not only the best nutrition for infants, but is also important for their developing brain. Breastfed babies are held a lot and because of this, breastfeeding has been shown to enhance bonding with their mother.