Many people with BPD have a “favorite person” — this is the person they rely on. Unfortunately, while a favorite person can be a source of validation and support, these relationships can also be toxic for both parties.
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on.
Moderate to high quality evidence finds a large effect of more insecure attachment styles in people with bipolar disorder compared to controls. This effect was similar to that seen in people with depression or schizophrenia. It was also similar across all three disorders for anxious attachment style.
An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes. Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.
While research shows the ability to experience cognitive empathy may be lower in those living with bipolar disorder, there may be times when emotional empathy increases. A small 2017 study found that during mania, emotional empathy levels were higher than during depressive episodes in bipolar disorder.
For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. The relationship with a BPD favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation.
Bipolar Anger & Rage
They may be jealous that others in their life do not have to take medication or undergo certain precautions. Friends and family may not understand the person, making them feel more alone and discouraged, even developing abandonment issues.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
Absolutely! BPD comes with a lot of hardships but, with time and effort, you can learn coping skills that will make them a lot easier to manage. Becoming easily attached to people is a legitimate struggle, especially if they reach 'favorite person' status as is common with BPD.
Despite a favorite person being the recipient of attention, praise, and near idolization by a person with BPD, these emotions can change very swiftly in reaction to supposed changes in the favorite person.
Hypersexuality can exist as a sign of bipolar disorder or on its own. Also referred to as compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction, hypersexuality is described as a dysfunctional preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that are difficult to control.
“When you're in a hypomanic or manic state, you're also more likely to feel you're in love,” says Haase. “You may then act on that feeling when making major long-term life decisions, not understanding your state had something to do with what you were feeling.”
Infidelity is common in bipolar disorder, and sadly, it can inflict lasting damage to a bipolar relationship.
Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.
Of the ten personality disorders described in the DSM-5, the four in Cluster B: Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic, have been the ones considered to be the most difficult to treat.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
It's very common for someone with this disorder to have intense, unstable relationships filled with drastic and quick-changing feelings. A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy.
When individuals with BPD start a relationship, the attachment system becomes initially activated. They easily idealize a new attachment figure, as they did with the parent. They attach with the intense and overwhelming need for affection that they felt as children and was never fully (or not at all) met.
People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
They do care about family and friends but find it difficult not to act selfishly when experiencing their own heightened emotions. They do want to change, but it is so hard.
BPD Triggers Loneliness and Isolation
It may spring from your fear of being rejected or abandoned. This fear can make you feel lonely, even when you have a partner or loving family. Also typical with borderline personality is co-occurring mental illness. One of the most common is depression.
Those with bipolar disorder may also engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex or extramarital affairs while manic. During episodes of depression, your partner may avoid sexual contact altogether.
One of the worst side effects of bipolar disorder is the repetitive cycle of self-sabotage. But you can manage this symptom by mapping out your goals.