People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
The likelihood of your BPD ex coming back is dependent on the severity of their BPD symptoms, their motivation, and the dynamic of your relationship.
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
After breaking up with a person with BPD, it's normal to wonder if they will ever contact you again. Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out.
A person with borderline personality disorder tends to anxiously avoid being separated from or abandoned by people they care about. They might go to extreme lengths such as stalking people they care about through tracking their phone or following them.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
Regret can lead a person to feel sorrow, grief, hurt, and anger—but these can be for the pain he or she feels for the self, not necessarily for the other person who was hurt by the behavior. The BP/NP can definitely feel regret.
Studies have found that there are clear links between BPD and memory loss. One such study determined that BPD patients displayed enhanced instances of memory loss in response to the presentation of negative emotions. 1 This is thought to occur because of other severe dissociative symptoms that sufferers experience.
Some of the key signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are: A deep fear of being abandoned or unloved by those close to you.
They may idealize their partners one minute and then devalue them the next. Their fear of abandonment leads them to do anything possible to keep their partners close, even sacrificing their own needs and well-being. So, when a borderline finally lets a quality partner go, they often regret it soon afterward.
The presumption that a person with BPD would only miss you if they hadn't moved on to someone else, is false. There are certainly people with BPD who move on relatively quickly and find it easy to let go of past relationships.
No contact is often perceived as abandonment. A person with BPD will likely feel hurt, betrayed, angry, sad, depressed…you name it.
Do Those Suffering from BPD's Regret Breaking Up? Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
They may even obsess over their new partner, convinced this is the perfect person for them. The relationship is mostly positive but can move quickly, given the impulsivity among people with BPD.
If one of your loved ones has symptoms of BPD you probably often think to yourself, “how can they act this way or speak this way towards me if they care about my feelings?” And you are right; they can't care about your feelings if they don't understand what you feel.
“People with BPD lie often, but it is not because they are pathological liars,” says Nikki Instone, Ph. D. “Lying is not a symptom of the disorder so much as a consequence of their internal battle.” Lying is really rooted in emotional dysregulation, which is one of the main symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety. It is important to note that getting over a favorite person is not always a permanent solution, as someone with BPD may develop new attachments over time.
Borderline personality and bipolar: These two disorders are often confused. They both have symptoms of impulsiveness and mood swings. But they are different disorders and have different treatments.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
Can You Ignore or Say No to Someone with BPD? You can ignore them if you feel disrespected or unsafe, but do this as a last resort when communicating your boundaries hasn't worked. Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior.