Gaslighting is by no means unique to individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but certain symptoms make it more likely for people with BPD to feel gaslighted by others and create circumstances where others feel gaslighted by them. Gaps in memory result from dissociation.
Certain personality types tend to be more manipulative than others. People with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and sociopaths are more likely to gaslight those around them.
Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators. It's important to point out that gaslighting is a “patterned” behavior.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative. Clinical usage of the term varies widely but clearly carries a pejorative meaning.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
Signs That BPD Splitting Is Sabotaging Your Relationship. The person with BPD often uses splitting when the feelings are so overwhelming that the person reacts to get rid of them; for instance sending abusive messages or breaking up in the heat of the moment. Often these splitting behaviours push the partner away.
Is narcissism a symptom of BPD? Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
BPD features are highly represented in subjects with psychopathy as well as psychopathic traits are highly prevalent in patients with BPD.
The Victim is not an actual victim but is a person who is identifying with the characteristics of that role in a drama. Individuals with BPD often feel helpless, hopeless, powerless, and ashamed. When in this state of mind, they may adopt a passive role and draw in others to make decisions for them and support them.
While it's most common in romantic settings, gaslighting can happen in any kind of relationship where one person is so important to the other that they don't want to take the chance of upsetting or losing them, such as a boss, friend, sibling, or parent.
Dissociation in BPD is closely linked to emotion dysregulation, disturbed identity, and relationship problems. Emotion dysregulation includes a tendency to experience intense overwhelming emotions.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
Intense episodic irritability or anxiety lasting a few hours or more than a few days). Recurring feelings of emptiness. Frequent intense, inappropriate anger or issues controlling temper. Severe dissociative symptoms or stress-related paranoia.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Idealization can quickly turn into devaluation because there is often no middle ground for a person with BPD. Feeling challenged, threatened, or disappointed can quickly cause them to devalue the people they formerly idealized.
Delusions have a prevalence of 26% in patients with borderline personality disorder. Hallucinations and delusions are frequently intermittent or even persistent. Persistent hallucinations can be severe, causing disruption of life. Careful assessment of psychotic experiences in borderline patients is warranted.
Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.
Insecurity: Insecurity is perhaps one of the deepest and most troublesome parts of borderline personality disorder. Unsettling and nagging, the insecurity one feels with borderline dictates their actions, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and relation to others.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation.
Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
The Attraction
In the case of the borderline sufferer, when they first encounter the narcissist, they see everything they are not and cannot do. They're amazed by their confidence, as they recognise its absence in their own life. They find being involved with them validates their character, boosting their self-esteem.
It helps to think of overt behavior as an outward appearance. Just by looking at a person, several observations can be made about them based on their faade. But their inward character is not revealed until later when a person talks, acts or interacts with others. This is the covert part.