Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
If they change the subject when you try and talk about your feelings, or if they become withdrawn, frustrated, or even annoyed, these are signs they are emotionally unavailable. Healthy relationships involve vulnerability and having someone willing to listen to you and help you through tough times.
Many emotionally unavailable individuals struggle with issues of insecurity and low self-esteem. As a result, they often cannot sustain the deep emotional bonds that a healthy relationship requires.
He values your input.
Emotionally unavailable guys normally only rely on themselves and could be extremely unwilling to trust others. When he falls in love, he'll start seeing you as an irreplaceable part of his life—and thus, he'll want to know your thoughts and include you in important decisions.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
They Choose Physical Intimacy Over Emotional Intimacy
Emotionally unavailable partners often choose physical intimacy over emotional intimacy so as to not have to deal with the messiness, seriousness, or complications that emotions can bring into a relationship.
An emotionally unavailable man really likes to keep things lighthearted, since that's the plane he wants to live on at this time in his life. So, flirting and making him chase you is a good approach to take, since he might be afraid if you seem too easy to catch.
Despite not committing to a relationship with you, the emotionally unavailable partner may still express that they don't trust you, as being emotionally unavailable often stems from a fear of getting hurt and this is their way of projecting that off of themselves and onto you.
Emotionally unavailable men will flirt with you on a regular basis. Some of them will do this just so they can, once again, prevent their vulnerability from happening. Others will do it simply because they prefer the chase rather than the catch.
One of the possible reasons why a man can turn emotionally unavailable is because of past hurts. When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again.
They're not affectionate (at least not consistently).
If your partner is emotionally evasive, your intimate life might be getting more mild by the day. Touch, compliments, and sex are all means to intimacy, which the emotionally unavailable person avoids.
The “aloofness factor”—looking desirable, in control, and yet, not being fully present—that unavailable men carry leaves the observer (typically a woman) feeling she has discovered an exotic jewel of wonder, and it leaves her wanting to come closer and to know more about him. 2. They provide intermittent reinforcement.
Emotionally unavailable men are disconnected from their actions which are in contradiction with their words, and their inability to connect in an emotionally healthy manner means that they can't be into you in a healthy way.
Have a conversation with your partner and make sure they understand that their emotional unavailability is a problem for you. Confirm that they are willing to do something about it. Make sure that they understand that they need to take responsibility for making a concerted effort to reach out to you.
They go from hot to cold
People who are emotionally unavailable tend to confuse their partners with their inconsistent behavior. They vacillate between being very hot and into the relationship one second, only to go totally cold the next. This can feel uncomfortable and scary.
No Contact is a technique that many people use when they are trying to get over someone who is emotionally unavailable. It is a way of cutting off all contact with this person so that you don't have to deal with the pain and hurt that comes from being around him. It works for some people, but not for others.
But when you're with someone emotionally unavailable, you won't feel any of the warm fuzzy feelings around your heart. You may have some good feelings, but there's a feeling of stagnation where the good isn't growing and the love is deepening. If you notice a lack of spark and joy, don't ignore that feeling; listen in.
This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs. Since an emotionally unavailable person isn't comfortable exploring their own emotions, they might not be able to connect with other people's emotional needs, either.
They struggle with being affectionate – someone who is emotionally unavailable is going to find it difficult to be affectionate – or to accept affection from you. If your partner stiffens up or becomes awkward when you get physically close, it's likely they're not living fully in their emotions.
Emotional availability varies among individuals, regardless of their zodiac sign. While Capricorn, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Gemini, and Virgo are often associated with emotional unavailability, it's important to remember that astrology provides generalizations and that each person is unique.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Self-esteem: An emotionally unavailable person might have low self-esteem in their personal, romantic, or professional life, making it hard for them to be themselves.
There's a lack of ability to put words to emotions, and there's a clear frustration when asked to do so. Compassion/interest for people when they're sad, sick, or anxious doesn't come naturally. Sex feels prescriptive and intimacy is often lacking. Putting someone else's needs first seems like a great sacrifice.