They genuinely miss you. Sometimes a ghoster comes back simply because they've discovered that they don't want to lose you after all. Some exes ghost because they think there's a better option out there, but then quickly find they missed the steady, happy relationship they had before.
New research reveals a rise in the 'Guilty-Ghoster', as nearly half of those who admitted to ghosting say they regret doing so. Over a third said this was because they felt guilty about their actions and 35% said they were worried they'd hurt their feelings, according to research from dating app Badoo.
If something happened and he lost interest then you know why he ghosted you and there's not very high odds he'll be back. But if nothing really happened and he suddenly just dropped off the face of the earth, your odds are much higher. That's because the issue is likely purely on his end.
In other words, people usually ghost another person when they have a reason to not want to continue interacting with them. In some cases, a ghoster might regret their decision, realize what they had was good, or feel bored and lonely and therefore get back in touch with someone they ghosted.
He thinks ghosting hurts you less.
To avoid making you sad or disappointed, he might avoid the conversation altogether so he doesn't feel responsible. It's completely okay to feel hurt or upset when a guy ghosts you because it's not a cool thing to do.
They might fear conflict and thus, by ghosting, says Lewis, think they're sparing themselves of having to go through an official “breakup.” They could also be fearful that if they try to break up with you properly, they'll be persuaded to stay in a relationship they really don't want to be in.
How long ghosters take to resurface depends on the type of ghoster they are. A short-term ghoster will disappear for a few days to a week. The mid-term ghoster will take off for several weeks or months, and the long-term ghoster can take as long as six months to re-appear.
Bottom line: Some ghosters feel guilt about their actions, but research suggests that they typically move on from the guilt once they no longer have contact with the ghostee.
While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.
You may think your ghoster has returned because they missed you. Sometimes, people use other people for attention. They might be going through a breakup and feeling insecure about themselves. A quick ego boost by someone who had feelings for them could make them feel better.
Ghosters also experience negative consequences from the act, but with less positive long-term influences, the study found. After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings.
They may regret ghosting you and be looking out for an opportunity to re-enter your life. Or they might want to keep their options open and don't mind if they're sending mixed signals. Narcissistic types may enjoy the power they feel from maintaining a digital foothold in your life.
Ghosting is a common rejection strategy in professional and personal situations, because most people fear saying no. Ghosting doesn't hurt feelings more than outright rejection, but it causes different and meaningful kinds of suffering. We owe each other clarity when we say no, but we don't have to explain why.
Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It's hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can't control the response.
It might take some time but if you've been ghosted, closure is the best gift you can give yourself. “Complete cessation of contact” is Walsh's primary ghosting recovery recommendation. “As soon as you suspect you've been ghosted, don't reach out,” Walsh advises.
Both ghosters and ghostees showed evidence of strong negative emotions. However, as you might expect, ghosters were more likely to feel guilty, although they did report feelings of relief. The ghostees were more likely to report feelings of sadness and being hurt.
Someone who chooses to ghost another individual may be showing their emotional state and maturity level instead. Ghosting allows people to avoid conflict and not have to deal with the repercussions or their decision.
They genuinely miss you.
Sometimes a ghoster comes back simply because they've discovered that they don't want to lose you after all. Some exes ghost because they think there's a better option out there, but then quickly find they missed the steady, happy relationship they had before.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
Ghosting can be manipulative.
Most ghosting scenarios are unforgivable, so when/if a ghoster reappears don't give them the satisfaction of a second chance or forgiveness.