While men are typically expected to play the leading role in a romantic relationship, women are also often seen to make the first move. “I think because many Japanese men are nervous about speaking to the females in fear of getting rejected, they wait for the female to talk to them,” says Suzy, aged 31.
In Japan, group dating — or goukon — commonly happens first. It's a way to gauge mutual interest and suitability, as well as mix with a potential partner's friends. You might think that this sounds low-pressure compared with American dating customs. But there's still plenty to stress about.
Make her feel appreciated
If you keep your act together, treat her with respect, and show a genuine interest in her culture, family, and personal dreams, your impression is bound to be a good one. At the end of the evening, pay the bill and maintain the same dignity and respect you've shown throughout the night.
Hookups and Casual Dating are Taboo
Yet even the people that don't share this opinion also. The same can be said for casual dating, even something as small as kissing your date is shunned upon. Only when you are officially in a relationship should you be able to kiss each other.
Note: 遊びにいかない asobi ni ikanai literally means “Won't you come out and play?” and is a very natural way to ask someone to hang out in Japanese. It's used a lot in daily conversation and not just in a romantic setting.
In Japan, touching another person's body is considered rude, even with friends or family. Hugging and kissing are mostly for couples. Our editor Kanako said that she's never hugged any of her family members as a grown woman. She hugs her foreign friends but not the Japanese ones.
If she has a boyfriend/ he has a girlfriend? A natural, idiomatic way to say it would be 「つきあっている人がいますか？」”Tsukiatte iru hito ga imasu ka?”. Literally, “is there someone you are dating?”.
If both people are happy with each other, after the two dates, they move on to the third date. The third date usually has a confirmation of their intention to become boyfriend/girlfriend. The man tells her “I like you. Would you be my girlfriend?”
Nevertheless, for a confession, the most basic and widespread phrase is “suki desu” (好きです, I like you), often followed up by “tsukiatte kudasai” (付き合ってください, please go out with me).
Be Punctual
Japan is one of the punctual countries, so we don't get used to have waited. Being on time is ok, but arriving at least 5 minutes in advance and smiles her a welcome makes her feel that she is special to you.
It's customary for Japanese women to profess their love through honmei choco, ornate handmade chocolates or expensive boxes of sweets.
Japanese are known to be shy, so once they become a couple, they flirt discreetly when in public. For example, you can see many couples walking hand-in-hand but not kissing much. Most Japanese feel embarrassed even just exchanging a small kiss on the cheek in public.
In a survey conducted in 2021, 65.8% of men and 51.8% of women in their twenties said that they had “no spouse or partner.” Among respondents in their thirties, 35.5% of men and 27.0% of women were in a similar situation.
TOKYO (AP) — Japan's parliament on Friday raised the age of sexual consent to 16 from 13, a limit which had remained unchanged for more than a century and was among the world's lowest, amid calls for greater protection of children and women. The revision was part of a revamping of laws related to sex crimes.
In Japan, routine male circumcision has never been implemented for newborns and children, and adult males are mostly circumcised at aesthetic clinics. However, media reports indicate a trend of Japanese mothers willing to have their sons circumcised.
Expressing Love through Actions Rather Than Words
The answer is: through their actions. In Japanese culture, love words are considered empty if they are not accompanied by a behavior that reflects those feelings. Like in other cultures, it can mean complimenting your partner, sending texts, making presents.
The Third Date Is a Good Time to Pronounce Your Love
Likewise, 51.4% of women answered that they wanted to know how the men felt about them around this time. That said, it might be a good idea to consider confessing after going through a couple dates.
The standard Japanese word for 'girlfriend' is kanojo (彼女 / かのじょ). This word can be used by anyone in different settings. Example: Kono bentou wa watashi no kanojo ga tsukutte kureta.
After tallying up a total of 6,510 responses, it turns out that 33 percent of people surveyed are more likely to lean in for a kiss on the third date.
Holding hands is okay. In smaller towns, you might get a dirty look if you're walking with an arm around your partner. Try to avoid snuggling up on a public bench, in queues or at restaurants. And don't stare lovingly into each other's eyes when others are around.
Mind the gap
The biggest issue for older students is the gap between when you graduated high school or formal further education and the time you apply for language school. If that gap is more than five years, then Japanese immigration will ask for more information about your desire to study in Japan.
According to a survey, only 45% of Japanese men in their 20s and 30s have ever said “I love you”, which means more than half of men haven't used the Japanese phrase, aishiteru¹.
For boyfriends and girlfriends, you'll often use -ちゃん or -くん, or call them by their name. You can also call them 彼 (kare, “he” or “boyfriend”) and 彼女 (kanojo, “she” or “girlfriend”) when talking to others.
Generally, a relationship is not viewed as serious or exclusive until kokuhaku is given. Typically in the West, women wait for men to take the lead on a confession, but in Japan its equally common for men and for women to confess their feelings.