The good news is that although divorce is hard and often extremely painful for children, long-term harm is not inevitable. Most children bounce back and get through this difficult situation with few if any battle scars.
Psychologists say the potential of an emotional trauma like divorce affects kids of every age, but it is more impactful when the child is between 3 to 15 years old. “Once a child goes through puberty there's more potential to accept and understand a parent's divorce,” says child psychologist Dr.
On average, children aged 6-10yrs old are least affected by divorces; however, children aged 1-2yrs old's seem to be the most affected. Every marriage goes through its good times and bad times; however, when children become involved in the equation, the stakes become even higher.
The sense of vulnerability and not being in control of significant life changes, as well as losing a parent even if partially, could lead a child to become overwhelmed to the point of not being able to cope. “Divorce can cause trauma because it can make the child feel a deep sense of loss as well as grief.
Children often become more resilient and adaptable because they must develop coping strategies for adapting to different situations and to change. Due to the change in income often experienced, children often have to become more self-sufficient, as both parents are most likely working.
Parenting experts agree that children should not be kept in a family where there is abuse of any kind. If a child is living with a parent who is abusing them sexually, physically, or emotionally, divorce is absolutely necessary.
Studies have shown that children who experience divorce often have an increase in antisocial behavior, anxiety, and depression, along with increased delinquent and aggressive behavior. Self-blame and abandonment fears are also known contributing factors.
Many people consider the separation phase to be the most difficult. This is the time between when you decide to get divorced and the date you actually get divorced. This period often presents the most uncertainties about child support, visitation, alimony, division of assets, and more.
Feelings of loss, anger, confusion, anxiety, and many others, all may come from this transition. Divorce can leave children feeling overwhelmed and emotionally sensitive. Children need an outlet for their emotions – someone to talk to, someone who will listen, etc.
PTSD is especially likely for children involved in divorce, as the processes inherent in divorce remove stability from children. Still, PTSD is a highly treatable mental illness, which means that reaching out to a mental health professional to receive support and guidance may help improve your symptoms over time.
Research has found that when parents are in an unhappy marriage, the conflict compromises the social and emotional well-being of children by threatening their sense of security in the family. This in turn predicts the onset of problems during adolescence, including depression and anxiety.
The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
As parents we will do anything for our kids and this may contribute to our desire to stay together in an unhappy, loveless marriage. However, despite our best intentions, psychologists note that the conflict and tension in the relationship, and subsequently the household, can do more damage to children than divorce.
Children whose parents had divorced may be less comfortable with closeness, more avoidant of others, and have less secure attachment styles than those who did not experience a divorce. Oxytocin concentration, as measured through urine samples, tends to be lower in people whose parents had divorced.
Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.
While a divorce will be difficult for the children, the changes that children experience aren't all negative. For example, children who are no longer exposed to constant arguing, verbal or physical abuse, or unstable communication between their parents will be relieved and greatly benefited in their future.
While it is generally recognized that co-parenting can provide additional comfort and stability for young children after a divorce, experts suggest that spending too much time together after a divorce can have some potentially-negative effects as well.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
Usually, second or third marriages in the United States have a higher divorce rate: 60% of second marriages and about 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
In fact, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. That doesn't exactly make you want to run to the altar. In fact, it leaves many couples who are experiencing a second chance at love questioning whether marriage could ruin their relationship.
Studies show that most children of divorce display the characteristic traits of aggression and disobedience with varying degree of intensity.
Children of divorce are more likely to experience poverty, educational failure, early and risky sexual activity, non-marital childbirth, earlier marriage, cohabitation, marital discord and divorce. In fact, emotional problems associated with divorce actually increase during young adulthood.
However, it's a misconception that when young kids experience divorce, they won't remember it. Studies have found that three-year-olds remember events that happen when they are two. By the time they are a little older, they may forget the events or they may have lingering emotions about them.