"It's fairly common for little kids to have a preference for a particular parent," says child clinical psychologist Dr Erinn Hawkins. "The relationship between a child and an attachment figure — a person to whom they become connected — forms very early on in life and becomes a selective thing."
A parent excessively praises one child while ignoring, criticizing, or saying little positive about other children. These parents have difficulty acknowledging one child's shortcomings (often the favorite) or appreciating other children's strengths (often the overlooked or unfavorite).
Families rarely talk about this, but research shows that many parents do, in fact, have a favorite and least favorite child. And more often than not, their kids are wrong about who is who.
Toddlers favoring one parent over the other is very common! Parent favoritism is often the result of feeling more connected to the parent they spend more time with. It can also be a personality thing, or a toddler exercising their independence.
What's more, this pattern varies little across generations. Thirty-eight percent of Baby Boomers report their parents had a favorite compared to 40 percent of Americans who belong to Generation Z. Parental favoritism is associated with a host of negative outcomes.
Why a child only wants one parent. Sometimes when your child favors you or your partner, this is a way of showing toddler independence. She wants to prove that she can make her own choices (in the same way she insists on The Runaway Bunny every night or the green sippy cup every time she has something to drink).
The survey concluded that parents tend to favour their youngest child over the elder. More than half of the parents quizzed said they preferred their youngest child, while only 26 per cent said that their favourite child was their eldest.
It's not uncommon for children to prefer one parent over the other. Sometimes this is due to a change in the parenting roles: a move, a new job, bedrest, separation. During these transitions, parents may shift who does bedtime, who gets breakfast, or who is in charge of daycare pickup.
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
When children like some people more than others, it's not really because those people are more trustworthy; it's because like everyone else, children gravitate towards people who are happy and confident. People who believe they are attractive are usually more happy and confident.
Researchers found that 13.3 percent of the most attractive children were buckled while only 1.2 percent of children categorized as the least attractive were buckled. Researchers concluded that fathers were more likely to favor attractive children when buckling them into the basket.
“Parents tend to favour a child that is most like them, reminds them of themselves, or represents what they view as a success of parenting,” she says. “Younger children are most likely to have been raised by a parent who, over time and experience, is more confident and skilled in their child-raising.”
A large proportion of parents consistently favor one child over another. This favoritism can manifest in different ways: more time spent with one child, more affection given, more privileges, less discipline, or less abuse.
Toxic parents create a negative and toxic home environment. They use fear, guilt, and humiliation as tools to get what they want and ensure compliance from their children. They are often neglectful, emotionally unavailable, and abusive in some cases. They put their own needs before the needs of their children.
The word favorite is at the root of favoritism, from the Latin root favere, "to show kindness to." Definitions of favoritism.
At least since 1941, men have told pollsters by more than a two-to-one margin that they would rather have a boy. Women have only a slight preference for daughters. Taking all of this evidence together, the authors conclude that parents in the United States do have a preference for boys over girls.
All mammals are genetically closer to their fathers.
All mammals are genetically closer to their fathers than their mothers, according to research by scientists at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine.
The age and stage
The phase can start as early as six to eight months and continues until around age two – when object permanence is fully established.
When a child rejects a parent it usually has something to do with something else other than abuse or neglect. In fact, when a person cuts ties with an abusive or neglectful parent it is usually a difficult process and requires the child to set difficult boundaries, and is nearly impossible to do.
Not worrying may be easier said than done, but truly, parental preference is a normal and healthy part of toddlerhood. It can pop up between ages one to three, as children become more independent and learn to express their opinions.
Moms are nicer.
Kids generally describe their moms as more positive and less reactive. Kids generally feel they get in more trouble with their dads. Because kids have more contact with their moms, they know their moms better and rely on them for support. Dads are still somewhat of a mystery for many kids.
Your success in life may be influenced by your birth order, according to the economist Sandra E. Black. Black points to research she and her colleagues have conducted that found that firstborns tend to be smarter, richer, and all-around more successful than their younger siblings.
Researchers have found that 74% of mothers and 70% of fathers admit to having a favourite child - and children say there is a bias towards the eldest one.
Even if you don't fully recognize it, research indicates that there's a good chance that you actually do have a favorite. In fact, one study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found 74% of moms and 70% of dads reported preferential treatment toward one child.