Feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem can also drive someone to cheat, particularly if they're not getting that validation in their own relationship, Page and Birkel note. "If people don't feel attractive enough to their partner, they may cheat to look for external validation," Page explains.
If men aren't sexually satisfied (for instance, if their spouse declines sex often), they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling "unloved." In fact, men are more likely than women to cheat due to a feeling of insecurity. When women cheat, they're often trying to fill an emotional void.
"We tend to think that people cheat because they're unhappy in their relationships. And that certainly can be true, but the reality is more complicated," explained Marin. "It's important we recognize there are plenty of people in perfectly happy relationships who also cheat."
Why People Cheat. The desire to be unfaithful is not limited by gender, sexuality, or age. In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. Issues like lack of communication, boredom, and personal insecurities can fester when they're not fully addressed.
The Reasoning
There are many reasons people cheat, but according to Campbell, they usually fall into three categories: individual, relationship, and situational.
Attention-seeking: not feeling fulfilled in a current relationship, not having emotional or physical needs met. Boredom and insecurity: feeling insecure about yourself, needing validation or wanting a “thrill,” even if it comes from self-destructive behaviors such as cheating.
The workplace. The workplace is where most affairs begin. It doesn't hurt that we usually dress nicely and are on “good behavior” at work. Plus, having shared passions about projects (or mutual annoyance at a boss or co-worker) provides the perfect breeding ground for an affair.
A man can cheat and still wholeheartedly love his wife. Infidelity can happen even in happy marriages, and it's important to understand that it's not your fault. There's no one right answer to how you move forward from betrayal. You already know the options: You can forgive and work on the relationship or end it.
There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
That being said, it is important to understand some of the reasons people feel compelled to cheat, so that you can address the problems within your relationship and avoid infidelity. As much as we hate to believe it, even the happiest people cheat while they are in romantic relationships.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
Emotional connect: Despite the misrepresented social norms, men also want love and attention from their partners. If these are lacking and they feel ignored or nagged or think the relationship is stuck in jealousy and insecurity, they may try to find an emotional connection with someone outside their relationship.
“Individuals experiencing stress are more likely to notice the things that their partners are not doing right and are less likely to be satisfied in their relationships,” says Dr. Mitchell. This puts couples at higher risk of cheating.
It's not unusual for men with depression to act out. This could mean drinking more, doing risky things or even having affairs. Some say that having an emotional affair shows that a person has a lack of confidence or self-esteem. And as mentioned above, people with depression may feel worthless.
Someone with a long history of infidelity, across multiple relationships, is more likely to repeat that past behavior. On the other hand, someone who cheated once is less likely to cheat again, especially if it was long ago and a lot has happened since then.
Look for these telltale signs to determine true remorse: Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
According to data from community health centers, only 15.6% of relationships were able to recover after infidelity. This means that the vast majority of couples who experience infidelity do not make it through the ordeal.
Being cheated on sucks. It's as simple as that – but the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. You feel betrayed, angry, embarrassed and completely heartbroken. It can make you question everything about yourself, your relationship and your life.
According to Ken Munyua, a Nairobi-based psychologist, men can have a sense of attachment and commitment to more than one romantic partner, which they will define as love. “A man may be able to emotionally commit and attach himself to two women at the same time.
Cheaters are more likely to start an affair in September than any other month, according to a new survey.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
Furthermore, people who cheated on a spouse or partner will often seek to cheat again. On average, affairs usually end within 6 months to 2 years.