Men may not show their emotions easily, but there are common fears men encounter while facing a divorce. The thought of being single again can evoke negative uncertainty in both partners. However, the person who initiates the divorce is naturally inclined to have a greater sense of calm regarding the decision.
Men's emotions after divorce may vary. But sadness, exhaustion, anger, bitterness, regret can pull them deeper and deeper into the pit of negativity, making them lose motivation to move on. Sometimes, even small reminders of the good things in your life can help fix it.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
Fear of being changed
Some men fear that their partners will try to change them after they get married. This is especially relevant in cases where the female partner has already subtly applied pressure to change earlier in the relationship.
You should also understand how divorce changes a man. It often leads to health problems like weight gain, a significant reduction in financial resources, increased loneliness (which is worsened if he can't see his children and doesn't have friends or a support network), and decreased mental health and self-esteem.
The study surveyed 10,000 men and women over the course of two decades. Participants were asked to rate their own happiness before and after major milestones in their lives. Although men also felt slightly happier after their divorce was final, the increase was much less marked.
While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women. Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Recent statistics indicate that the number one fear for men is acrophobia, the fear of heights. Acrophobia is, in fact, one of the more common phobias for both men and women.
According to recent statistics, the number one fear among men is acrophobia, the fear of heights. The list of things that scare the hell out of guys also include snakes, dentists, injections, thunder, and being maimed. Nearly half of guys are scared of seeing a doctor, and 37 percent are worried about going bald.
Gender Gap in Remarriage
Among those eligible to remarry—adults whose first marriage ended in divorce or widowhood—men are much more likely than women to have taken the plunge again.
Usually, it seems as though the woman is the one who gets the better end of the deal. While many men are quick to say that their ex-wives took everything, including the dog—or that is what many country songs lead you to believe, anyway—the truth is that women often fare worse in a divorce.
Delays Caused By Your Spouse
A number of reasons can cause this. Your spouse may want to delay things for financial gain. Your spouse may not want the divorce or simply wants to drag it out to punish you. Your spouse may just be difficult and cannot handle the process amicably.
Many men experience high blood pressure, which leads to heart disease and strokes. They must also deal with emotional issues such as anxiety and depression. On top of that, divorced men are much more likely to engage in risky behavior. They also tend to self-medicate, which often leads to substance abuse.
Most men and women marry within 5 years of divorce. Generally, a higher percentage of men remarry within 5 years than women.
Of those who had considered divorce, about half had changed their mind about divorce and were still with their spouse. Co-author of the study Adam Galovan said that “it isn't uncommon to think about divorce; even if you think about it, it doesn't mean you will end up there.”
Guys fear that being in a relationship will alter their lives, no matter how little. And frankly, let's face it, being in a relationship does change one's way of life on some grand level. Especially if it is a committed one. The fear of this change scares the hell out of several men.
These fears are: rejection, irrelevance, and disappointment, and together they add up to the fear of failure—of failing to be … a man. The explanations of these fears that follow are not presented as a plea for sympathy.
For men, failure is all about shame. We didn't just get a C or D on the test. It's much worse than losing the game or an account that didn't pan out. And rejection by a woman is nearly fatal to a man's self-esteem (which is all too fragile due to relentless and unreasonable performance demands).
“Fear is a natural and biological condition that we all experience,” says Dr. Sikora. “It's important that we experience fear because it keeps us safe.” Fear is a complex human emotion that can be positive and healthy, but it can also have negative consequences.
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
According to various studies, the three most common causes of divorce are conflict, arguing, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship, lack of commitment, infidelity, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.