Therefore, it is understandable that remarrying can be overwhelming for many people. However, when it comes to remarrying after the death of a spouse, there is no set timeline or acceptable wait time. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry.
Results. Most repartnering after widowhood occurs within ten years of this event or not at all. Ten years after widowhood, about 7% of widows and 29% of widowers have formed a new union. For both widows and widowers, the rate of remarriage is twice as high as the rate of cohabitation.
However, men are more likely to remarry after losing their spouse; more than 60 percent of men but less than 20 percent of women are involved in a new romance or remarriage within two years of being widowed.
Approximately 2% of older widows and 20% of older widowers ever remarry (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991). The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that each year, out of every 1,000 wid- owed men and women ages 65 and older, only 3 women and 17 men remarry (Clarke, 1995).
Average time frame for widowers who remarry is about two – three years while for widows, it's three to five years. But, having children or not, being younger or older and your general state of resiliency in the face of tragedy plays into this as well.
Many widows who choose to remain single have had long and happy marriages and enjoy male companionship. They recognize that their ability to choose the single life rests on two essential points: financial independence and the ability and willingness to live life as an individual, rather than as one of a pair.
The reason is that we are all different emotionally and our needs differ. There are many widows who would not remarry but have sexual relationships. Even when the new man in their life is available for a commitment, they will say no on the pretext that they are looking after their kids.
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost.
Until the intensity of your grief subsides, you can't expect to be truly happy again. Work through your guilt, extreme pain, extreme sadness, intense anger, and every other feeling and emotion. Often, reaching out to a grief counselor gives you a structure for doing this work.
The intuitions that the spouses will die at about the same time (e.g., within 5 years of each other) and that she will not live for a long time after his death are incorrect. The probability that the wife will outlive her husband is 0.63 and, if she does, her survivor life expectancy is 12.5 years.
Not all widows look for new relationships, but many do, even as they tote chest-tearing grief. For them, love is just too joyous of a human experience to give up.
Widows deal with the loss of a spouse better than widowers, according to the study. "Many studies have shown that women are less vulnerable to depression than men in widowhood, probably because they have greater coping resources and are better able to express their emotions," she said.
There are 11.8 million widows in the U.S. and approximately 2,800 new widows are joining these ranks every day. The average age of widowhood in the U.S. is 59, according to a frequently cited figure attributed to the U.S. Census Bureau. And if COVID-19 continues, the ranks of younger widows could climb.
Gender May Make a Difference
Men have always been more likely to remarry than women, although this gap is narrowing. Today, approximately 64% of men and 52% of women have remarried. Perhaps the lingering disparity has something to do with the benefits that men get from marriage.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
There is no "right or wrong" about when you'll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and aren't trying to satisfy someone else's idea of when you're ready (or not).
Overall, the researchers also found that in the year after losing a spouse, men were 70% more likely to die than similarly aged men who did not lose a spouse, while women were 27% more likely to die compared to women who did not become widowed.
In the second year, we may start to think about what our lives will be like without the person who died. If it was a partner, we might start thinking about moving on. If it was a parent, we might have stopped having the urge to reach out and catch up. Processing these feelings can be incredibly difficult.
One way for widows to cope with loneliness is to join a class or club. This can be a great opportunity to meet new people and engage in activities that they enjoy. Joining a class or club can also provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which can be very important during the grieving process.
The feel of Loneliness
Losing someone creates a gap of them in our lives. Similarly losing her spouse puts the widow into a position of loneliness. Even if the widow is always surrounded by the most loving and supportive people (friends & family) there'd still be times when she'd go through a mental state of isolation.
If you need to make important decisions, you should wait for at least one to two years following such a significant loss. This will give you sufficient time to process the death, go through the stages of grief, and regain some of your diminished cognitive capacities. You might consider therapy or counseling.
The cons of dating a widow or widower include previous emotional baggage. Your partner has already had a life and marriage with someone else. They are coming to terms with the trauma and guilt they feel with their past relationship and their spouse's death.
Older widows are usually more content to stay single than older widowers. They are often tired from looking after their late spouse and they see remarriage as having to take care of somebody else. Devotion to a deceased husband may also keep them single but they still go through various levels of loneliness.
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.