Once you get the strength to leave them, the narcissist will pretend your absence doesn't bother them — and they will move on with their life. But they will not be happy. After all, your loyal love was a huge source of their supply. They will miss your adoration.
Narcissists hate losing their supply of attention, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me."
Those high in narcissistic admiration, on the other hand, seemed to be buffered from experiencing these types of negative emotions. They actually reported less anxiety and sadness about the breakup.
If you end a relationship with a narcissist and cut off all contact, they may view it as a blow to their self-esteem. As a result, they may ignore your no-contact boundary and try to make you feel guilty. A psychologist said ignoring their attempts and blocking them where possible is the best strategy.
The entity wants full control of the narcissist and every time a narcissist is abandoned that makes it more powerful. This can lead to them feeling insecure and may cause them to lash out.
The emotional hangover when we're undergoing recovery from a narcissistic relationship is typically profound sadness and secondary to this feeling is rage. Rage that someone who professed to love you could suddenly turn around and treat you so entirely without empathy. The rage quite often is disguised as depression.
Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
Beware of narcissists trying to lure you back with hoovering. Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.”
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
This means someone living with narcissistic traits may cry from regret or remorse, but not with empathy at its source. They may feel embarrassed, for example, about being criticized for their part in a distressing situation. They may feel sadness or regret that whatever happened paints them in a negative light.
If your ex had a narcissistic personality, chances are they moved on to the next relationship pretty soon after your breakup.
When that occurs, ancient feelings of emptiness, abandonment, and shame return with such “vengeance" that they're compelled to turn up their defenses a notch, prompting them to further denigrate—through what's commonly referred to as "narcissistic rage"—those now able to see through their façade.
Ultimately, it is important to remember that narcissists can and do love—but their love may never be the same as a healthy, unconditional bond.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
DISSOCIATIVE GAPS AND CONFABULATION
Narcissists and psychopaths dissociate (erase memories) a lot (are amnesiac) because their contact with the world and with others is via a fictitious construct: The False Self. Narcissists never experience reality directly but through a distorting lens darkly.
Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do. For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on.
Narcissists usually never willingly give up power. Sometimes they would rather destroy their own companies with the attitude of “if I can't have it, no one can.” It doesn't matter that it will ultimately hurt them the most. Many times legal action must be taken to have a narcissist in power removed.
In some cases, the no contact effect on a narcissist makes them feel that they're under attack. In other cases, they'll quickly move on, believing they cut you off because you no longer serve them. Alternatively, they charm you so much that you start to doubt your decision.
It could be that you're repeating patterns from your past or are looking for a need—however self-destructive—to be met. If you're always ending up at the same point, there's something in you which is taking you to that point over and over again. You experienced narcissistic abuse as a child.
Our memories of the love we shared with the narcissist are not only mental, but also physical. Our body remembers how it felt to be near the narcissist. We long to be close to him or her again because it was exactly what we believed we needed; it felt like what we needed; it was what we needed.