Do narcissists forget you? The answer is both yes and no. Once they discard you, they are for all intents and purposes done. Leading up to the discard, they have forgotten every good thing you may have done for them.
As a general rule, narcissists will come back after discarding you. But sadly, this isn't because they love, care about, or miss you. It is because they want to maintain power and control over you for as long as possible.
You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
A narcissist will come back after no contact if they find themselves low on attention, and they consider you easy to get that attention from. Most narcissists hate being alone, and they need attention far more than most people. Narcissists don't care about your feelings, and they don't miss you.
Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.
Though typical narcissists do not discard people because they crave attention, covert narcissists may go to extreme measures to permanently discard you.
Impacts of Narcissistic Discard
Feelings of anger, shock, and grief are common after this occurs, and can make it very difficult for people to find closure. This is especially true for someone who needs to find the strength to begin healing from narcissistic abuse.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.
You can get the narcissist to come crawling back by letting them know there's plenty more available. Play the narcissist at their own game by love-bombing them. Start sending your ex text messages and emails telling them how great they are. How much you love and miss them because they are so awesome.
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.
"But with a narcissist, you'll always feel like you're trying to entertain them. Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new.
Narcissists can't take rejection and they see it as a personal attraction to their character. Even after long periods of the breakup, they can't accept the fact that you're moving on. Now that you're seeing someone else, your narcissistic ex would act like a predator.
Worse, their neediness fuels anger, criticism, rage, and passive aggressions. In their neediness they draw you into griping sessions, circular arguments, and complaints. Likewise, it prompts them to use sales tactics (like persuasion and pleading) in their discussions with you.
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.
What is this? Once the narcissist has completely broken you down and you can no longer fuel their ego, they will discard you. This phase leaves the partner feeling worthless and confused, wondering what they could have done differently to salvage the relationship.
The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time. He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.
He doesn't want you to know you are lovable and have power in the relationship. Your narcissist wants you to feel small, unlovable, powerless, and without value. This is how he controls you.
How long does it take a narcissist to come back? In most cases, the narcissist will come back at you immediately after you put in place the no contact rule. Considering how important their ego is to them and how they need that constant attention from their partner, they would come for you immediately.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".