Narcissists fall in love quickly because their definition of love is corrupted. They are only capable of infatuated love, which is purely motivated by passion and it is intoxicating, irrational, associated with bad decision making, and usually short lived. This causes their relationships to be fast-paced.
A narcissist might also get into a new relationship right away to cope with the pain of breaking up with you. Feeling that there's someone else giving them attention and praise might help them heal a bruised ego or return from a narcissistic collapse.
A narcissist will try to move things as quickly as possible — they'll rush you into a relationship, marriage, or moving together.
Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do. For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on.
At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist will often come on very strong, put you on a pedestal, and make you feel incredibly special. Anna, 28, describes her experience, “In the beginning, he treated me like an absolute queen.
While you may feel like a narcissist loves you at the start of a relationship, this “love” is often just a form of infatuation. Narcissists will initially love-bomb romantic interests to get them to engage. This also creates an ideal image and standard of the narcissist for the partner to keep seeking.
Truth 1: Narcissists fall in love with their fantasy of you.
The reality is that narcissistic love is quite shallow and ultimately depends on how perfectly you embody their fantasies and how well you are meeting their needs. It is all about them and not about you.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Narcissists fall in love quickly, but it isn't true love, it is infatuated love. This happens because the emotional neglect they experienced as a child corrupted their perception and definition of love. They don't know what true love is, all they know is they need a consistent flow of narcissistic supply.
The telltale warning sign of a narcissist is how deeply self-absorbed they are. Narcissists love to ramble on about how amazing they are and how much they have accomplished. By the end of a date, it's likely they haven't asked you anything about yourself. Because it's always about them.
“Deep down, narcissists hope for love and caring”, says Frank Yeomans, “but it often makes them feel very uncomfortable if they seem to find it, partly because they feel vulnerable and doubt the authenticity of any love that comes their way.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection. By understanding these key points, people who are struggling with narcissism or those who are in a relationship with a narcissist can get the help they need.
They Rarely Ask Personal Questions
When you go on a date, both parties will naturally ask a lot of questions to get to know each other. Narcissists rarely do that. They don't show interest because they aren't interested in you, they're only interested in themselves. Their only goal on a date is to make you want them.
They have a genuine interest in finding a partner who is compatible with them and have no interest in misleading or exploiting anyone. Narcissists, on the other hand, want to fast-forward both emotional and physical intimacy as a way to win your trust and investment in them quickly.
The most common narcissistic relationship pattern involves the person with narcissistic traits first idealizing their partner to lure them in, then devaluing them, and then repeating the cycle over again before discarding them.
At first, a narcissist will try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first. They will text you whenever they want to, even if they know you are in an important meeting or exam. They don't care about the time or who you are with.
Although most narcissists seem to attempt reconciliation a few times before suddenly disappearing, most eventually stop and proceed with an abrupt separation or divorce. There are several significant reasons as to why they do this.
A recent research study conducted byMogilski and Welling (2017) showed that those who had darker personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy and duplicity tended to stay friends with their exes out of pragmatism, sex and access to resources.
There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim. Some people get married to narcissists and stay with them for years, while others leave or are left after a few weeks or months.
Over time, narcissists usually push their responsibilities onto their significant others. Narcissists don't care for the boring routines of life. Such as house work, paying bills, looking after children etc. And over time, ALL these things become you're responsibility.
Narcissists are never satisfied—no matter how much validation they receive, it will never be enough. Narcissists seek individuals who are easily lured by their charm and naive to manipulation and exploitation. Once the supply is received, the narcissist will soon become low or empty, always needing more.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
The narcissist is more than aware of how potent this phrase is and they're quite happy to use it to draw you in again. "You've got it wrong." Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."