Do narcissists not want to see others happy? People with narcissistic personality disorder can have trouble seeing other people happy unless it benefits them or improves their status . Their inflated ego may make them think that others shouldn't be happy unless it's because of them.
When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. They may shower them with compliments and gifts or attempt to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection.
Narcissists get a rush of pleasure when they “win.” Unfortunately, pleasure is superficial and fleeting. The pleasure the narcissist feels is similar to that of a drug high. It's an intensely thrilling but ultimately meaningless experience that leaves them immediately craving the next rush.
While narcissists can be annoying due to their total self-absorption and tendency to seek attention and admiration from others, some possess a darker side. Sometimes referred to as malignant narcissists, these individuals take great pleasure in watching or causing others to suffer.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Indeed, we knew from prior work that narcissists fantasize about having power over others, and that their sense of self-worth fluctuates based on others' respect and admiration. To understand what narcissists want, it is critical to examine what makes them feel good and bad.
Needing continual admiration from others. A sense of entitlement to special treatment and obedience from others. Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain. Unwilling to empathize with the feelings, wishes, and needs of other people.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Its no secret that a core narcissistic trait is the lack of empathy and care for others. However, people with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits (hereafter narcissists) do sometimes act in a caring manner, or try to appear this way.
"They often gravitate towards those who can serve their needs, whether it's through admiration and validation or providing a sense of control and power," she said. "It's a complex dynamic, and understanding it can be helpful in navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits."
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
In the end, we do want to make them happy. Perhaps if they were satisfied, we think, we could all be joyful and content together. This is an impossibility. The narcissist isn't going to wake up one day and finally be optimistic or considerate.
You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy. Your happiness also threatens the person's domination over your life.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
The narcissist is more than aware of how potent this phrase is and they're quite happy to use it to draw you in again. "You've got it wrong." Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to.
An injured narcissist will go into a narcissistic rage and self-sabotage relationships with their loved ones or at work in order to preserve their false self at all cost. They will hold the critic in contempt and view them as a threat for their survival.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel.
“Some kinds of narcissists will come across as extremely needy. If there is always a huge problem or drama, everyone has to focus on them—pitying them, running to their rescue, and helping them clean up their messes,” says Ho.
We tend to feel special when we feel loved. The problem for narcissists, though, is that they don't trust that they are really loved. Most of them have never felt loved in their lives, and so they doubt that they can actually be loved.”
People high in narcissism tend to have a distinct preoccupation with being the center of attention. They are highly skilled at making themselves the star of the show, whether by writing the script themselves or hijacking another person's scene. Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people.